Authenticity

Each year, our local high school runs an ‘Orator’s contest’.

This year’s winner was a pretty young girl who chose the topic ‘Authenticity’. Though hers was perhaps not the most perfect or forceful delivery, she clearly won the judges’ hearts through the authentic manner in which she spoke about her topic.

I was impressed by the youngster’s courage. After all, being genuinely authentic is possibly one of the most difficult things to ask of a teenage girl who has to deal with enormous peer pressure to ‘fit in’, not to mention all the pressures brought on by hormones, exams and the difficulty of relating to parents of another generation.

This young lady talked passionately about the need for each of us to stay in touch with who we really are and resist the temptation to present oneself to others as someone who we clearly are not. While that might seem like a good idea in the circumstances, there would come a time when we would be \’found out\’, leaving us despondent, anxious and frustrated.

[box type=\”shadow\”]“When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle.
Oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, they’d be singing so happily,
oh joyfully, oh playfully, watching me.
But then they sent me away, to teach me how to be sensible, 
logical, oh responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
 oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the world’s asleep.
 The questions run too deep for such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what went wrong? I know it sounds absurd. Please tell me who I am.”

– From The Logical Song by Supertramp[/box]

The cause of much stress and frustration

Lack of authenticity lies behind much of the stress and frustration that we, as humans, experience in our day-to-day lives.

The desire to please others

For most of us, straying away from the authentic self is not something we do consciously or deliberately. Very often, its more of an unconscious, reactive instinct – a ‘protective mechanism’ if you like.

In many cases, inauthentic behaviour and practice is brought on by the desire to please others. We reason that if we act and speak in a way that is likely to be more acceptable to others then we will be, well … more accepted!

And the need to fit in – to feel connected with others, respected by others, or even loved by others – is a remarkably powerful human need.

Craving significance

At the other end of the scale, there are those amongst us who crave significance – and who can, if necessary, act completely out of character in order to get their \’significance fix\’.

One only has to look at some of the celebrity figures on the world stage with their wild mood swings, crazy antics and frequent bouts of irrational behavior, to appreciate this.

Living authentically in this world is more difficult than it sounds.

We are all constantly under pressure to meet or abide by the collective norms (written and unwritten, visible and invisible) that we as humans set – whether in our families, our schools, our peer groups, our communities or in our society as a whole.

Gaining acceptance

Sometimes we forego our authenticity in order to be seen to be an accepted member of a group or community of which we have chosen – either voluntarily, or forcibly – to be part.

How many people working in the corporate world can honestly claim that they are completely authentic in their business dealings?

Corporates don’t reward authenticity; they reward performance – or perceived performance – and that is often judged by the eye of the beholder, or manager in question. Is it therefore surprising that many people go to chameleon-like lengths to imitate the actions and behaviours of their seniors?

What is authenticity?

So what, then, does it mean to be authentic and why is it important?

In my personal experience, living authentically means to live a life in which one’s current values and aspirational values are the same. Taken one step further, it means living life in alignment with one’s deeper purpose – knowing who you are and what you came to this Earth to do.

I would argue that only by living life authentically can one enjoy a life that is truly and lastingly meaningful.

Living with purpose and meaning

Possibly one of the most important – and certainly one of the most fulfilling – outcomes of the life coaching process is the ability that it imparts to live life authentically, with purpose and meaning.

Life coaching is a powerful means by which a person can liberate him or herself from living the inauthentic life that he or she feels is necessary to feel accepted but that leaves him or her with a sense of emptiness.

That liberation is a vital step on the road to positive self-growth.