Is anyone out there?
That might sound like the musings of someone involved in the search for extraterrestrial life, or someone stuck after hours between floors in an office lift!
But that cry for help is one that’s much closer to home and far more commonly experienced than most of us would like to admit.
When last did you wish someone would really listen to what you have to say? I mean really listen to you and really care about what you have to say?
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\”One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.\”
– Bryant H McGill[/box]
Listening with your heart, listening with an open mind – or listening generously as I like to call it – is possibly one of the kindest, most honourable things you can do for someone. And yet this natural skill is rapidly disappearing in the world of ‘sound bytes’ we live in today.
Information overload
The problem is one of information overload … and it\’s getting worse at a scaringly accelerating rate!
Take the email message that brought you here to this blog. No doubt it was one of tens or possibly hundreds in your daily inbox, competing for your attention, not to mention today’s newspaper, the TV, your smartphone, your office phone, umpteen forms of social media, faxes, radio stations, marketing material, billboards and so on and so on.
Each time you share something that’s important to you, you have to realise that the statistical likelihood of it receiving any form of focused attention is diminishing, literally by the day!
Consider this for a moment:
After the year 1 AD it took a full 1500 years before the entire body of humanity\’s scientific knowledge – or available information – doubled in size.
It then took another 250 years to double again, 150 years to double again and a further 50 years to double yet again.
After 1950 the period taken to double all available information shortened to 10 years, then 7 years, then 6 years, then 5 years, then 3 years. By 1990 the amount of available information was doubling every 18 months.
And that was over twenty years ago!
Quantum leaps in nanoseconds
If that hasn\’t taken your breath away then predictions were that anytime soon, if not already, we will be experiencing quantum leaps in information every day. After just a further year or so the period for such giant leaps will be down to mere seconds soon to be followed by nanoseconds (a nanosecond is a billionth of a second in case you’re still unimpressed)!
If you sometimes feel, like I do, that time seems to be speeding up, this is why.
Voices in the wilderness
So let’s get back to communication – and more specifically, listening.
With such mind boggling increases in our collective body of knowledge, the advances in technology available to access it and the various public and social media clamouring to force it down our throats in some or other form, is it any wonder that so many of us feel that we are no longer being properly listened to?
Personal choice
Yet, despite the way the world is advancing, we still have personal choice about what we listen to and how generously we listen. With that choice comes responsibility. We simply have to get better at prioritising if we are to resurrect the art of meaningful communication.
The alternative is to resign ourselves to a world in which meaningful conversation is replaced with superficial soundbytes that lack both substance and care.
Professional listeners
Life coaches are trained to embody one principle above all others – respect for the interests of their clients – and that means learning to listen generously to what their clients have to say and working with that information to fulfill their roles of helping their clients to be the best they can be.
Listening leads to growth
So coaches have to be great listeners and skilled questioners, completely focused on understanding their clients on a deep, yet non-intrusive level – and doing so in a caring and supportive way to enhance their personal freedom, confidence and growth.
What a refreshing change to know that there is someone you can approach whose business revolves around listening – very carefully and authentically – to what you have to say!
I have only just read this article. How profound and the timing was excellent. I was discussing this same subject with someone this morning. Because we are responsible for ensuring that our communication is ‘heard’ or understood by the listener, we can fall into the trap of blaming ourselves and getting frustrated if the person has a communication freeway running right through his ears. Today I learned that the knowledge that I was imparting was just too much for my listener to handle and slowly started to protect himself by putting up a Tollgate without e filing. Light Bulb moment, without realising it …… I was smacking him senseless by sharing through caring. I am so excited about life now and want to share my tools with everyone. Golly, how I forget, I needed to take baby steps myself to finally ‘get it’. Thanks Bill, for these little gold nuggets you so generously share with us.
Ooooops I meant Tollgate without e – Tolling.
Thanks Carole. Some interesting real life experience!
This is a very inspiring post, and very appropriate for many people right now, especially for us Venusian women who quite often feel we’re not ‘heard’ by the Martian men in our lives (In the context of John Gray’s book men are from Mars women are from Venus). Thank You. Much Love and Gratitude – Lyn
True Bill and not listening to what others have to say end up putting innocent individuals in unforeseen circumstances. At times for someone to be free in a certain situation he/she just need someone to listen “LISTENING IS A SKILL”
I hear you Bill! Sorry, couldn’t resist saying that. What i find really interesting is that many of us aren’t even listening to ourselves. We are all so busy we don’t rest when we are tired, or stop eating when we are full and in the worst cases we don’t honour our own wishes and values because we are under so much external pressure.
So yes, it is not just to listen wholeheartedly to others, a good starting point is to just listen to yourself. Once you get the hang of it internally it is that much easier to apply to people around you because you have an inner experience of how good it feels to be heard and accepted.
Yes – and be wary of the type of conversations you have with yourself !
http://www.life-coaching-insights.com/change-your-conversation/
Hi Bill,
Powerful post, thank you.
It reminds me of the quote, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”. Genuine concern for others is a true gift nowhere better measured than our ability to genuinely listen.
I wrote a similar blog about how little capacity we have for this in our busy lives – would love you thoughts:
http://www.chrisgarvey.co.za/2012/10/occupied-part1/
Regards
Chris
I loved it Chris and have left you a comment there. Well done!