The past two decades may well come to be known as the era that redefined personal communications.
The mid 1990s saw the start of the email revolution and an early explosion in the use of mobile phone technology and SMS or text messaging.
It\’s hard to believe but it\’s less than a decade ago, that Facebook (2004), YouTube (2005) and Twitter (2006) burst onto the scene to start a social media revolution.
In a remarkably short period Facebook and YouTube have garnered over a billion users. Twitter is no slouch either with 500 million.
The ramifications of our exposure to lightning fast and ever present internet and cellular technologies have been nothing less than profound.
[box type=\”shadow\”]“A beautiful thing happens when we start paying attention to each other. It is by participating more in your relationship that you breathe life into it.”
― Steve Maraboli[/box]
Quantity, but not quality
Unfortunately, although the quantity of communications we send and receive has shot through the roof, the quality of our interactions has suffered … badly.
The ease with which we are now able to engage in non verbal communications with each other has had a very negative effect on our propensity to engage with each other in the more traditional face-to-face way.
How many parents make the effort to meet the parents of their friends when they collect their kids from parties. Nowadays, it\’s quite common to sit in the car and tap out \”I\’m waiting outside\” to your offspring, rather than ring the doorbell and take the opportunity to meet and greet the other parents.
Short cuts that compromise integrity
In addition, the struggle to keep abreast of the overwhelming volume of messages we have to deal with each day has induced many of us to resort to short cuts that seriously compromise the integrity of our own communications.
In today\’s fast paced, time starved world, digital communications are often nothing more than mere \’sound bytes\’ – drastically abbreviated messages, lacking in either context or tone.
Rapport building – now an art form?
It\’s hardly surprising that rapport building is rapidly becoming a rather exclusive art!
Deprived of the visual and auditory clues we get from face-to-face interactions and faced with hastily scripted snippets of written text to go by, is it any wonder that we find it difficult, if not impossible, to relate to the people we communicate with and the perspectives they hold?
And yet, our success is heavily dependent on our ability to relate to others and to build trusting and mutually respectful relationships. Being able to engage others in a sincere, caring and generous way is a vital skill.
Towards more effective communication
Shunning modern technology is clearly not the answer. Learning how to use it more effectively is.
Here are a few tips I would offer in this regard:
LEARN TO PRIORITISE
Don\’t treat every communication you get with the same importance.
Use an A-B-C approach to filter communications. A being those that deserve your full focus, B being those that are important but to be attended to after A and C being those that you will deal with only if and when time permits.
Never, ever allow a phone call, SMS or email to take priority over a face to face or telephone interaction that you are busy with. That\’s just plain bad manners.
READ WHAT IS WRITTEN
If the message is from someone you know and value, be sure to read it in full. By simply skimming the first sentence before firing off your reply, you\’re likely to be the cause of an unnecessary chain of further emails.
SENSE CHECK YOUR MESSAGES
Always spend a few seconds read every message you send out, before you hit the send button, to ensure it makes sense. Don\’t expect the person at the other end to have to waste time decoding the product of your poor typing or spelling.
WEAR OTHER SHOES
Before sending, read important messages as if you were in the shoes of the receiver. Does it sound rather harsh, intimidating or confusing to you … then it almost certainly will to them – and that\’s probably not what you want!
GIVE THE COURTESY YOU WANT TO BE AFFORDED
If you want to connect with someone on Linkedin, or any other social media site, think about whether they are likely to know you. Add a little context to your request, don\’t just rely on the standard message supplied. After all, why on earth would anyone want to connect with a total stranger?
OFFER PROPER CONTEXT
The person you are communicating with will only know how to respond if they understand what you are asking of them. Keep it brief but provide enough context to your request so that the person you are messaging doesn\’t have to ask for it, thereby generating even more messages.
The digital communication age has come a long way into making the world a “smaller” place . The ease with which we can now network and communicate with people from all over our globe , is something which continues to fascinate me . The personal touch in communicating starts with a genuine love for people , and a caring of who they are , a desire to really connect with them ….. and a knowledge that sincerity and genuine communication can sometimes turn complete strangers into good friends .
A lovely positive message – thank you Tracy!
I believe very strongly in face to face communication. No form of technology will ever surpass its effectiveness, nor the way in which it builds meaningful relationships.
Indeed, this is very true, Karen. However, many people nowadays make a living through the Internet which breaks down market barriers. I believe the key is to try to retain the personal touch even when you can’t meet people on a face-to-face basis … quite a challenge 🙂