Life coaching … it’s not the most descriptive term, is it?
Perhaps it’s for this reason that life coaching is often misunderstood – and why many people who would benefit tremendously from being coached, don’t give it enough consideration.
So, by exposing a few commonly held myths, I’d like to try and set the record straight as to what life coaching is, what it is not, and who would benefit most from seeing a coach.
“I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.”
– Socrates
Life coaching is a fancy new term for counselling
Not true. Life coaching and counselling are very different, though sometimes complementary disciplines.
Counselling involves the resolution of personal, social and/or psychological problems and difficulties often caused by, or rooted in, some form of past trauma or tragedy.
Counselling is, by definition, focused on significant or traumatic happenings or events in the client’s (‘patient’s) life that have not yet been properly dealt with and that are preventing him or her from moving forward effectively. Counselling looks to ‘treat’ or deal with these issues to bring relief and a sense of closure.
Life coaching, on the other hand, involves assisting mentally well people to bring about changes that will help them be more accepting and appreciative of their present lives and feel empowered and equipped to create the futures that they really desire.
Life coaching embodies the principle that your past is just that … your past. It does not have to dictate your future.
People who have successfully completed a programme of counselling to help them overcome some serious problem, anxiety or addiction are often left thinking: “That’s great, I feel so relieved – but where do I go from here?” In such cases, life coaching can be very effective in picking up where counselling leaves off.
Life coaching is about advising people on strategies to adopt for life improvement
False. Life coaches are not advisers, they are facilitators.
Every good life coach appreciates that clients are the experts on their own lives. Clients don’t need advice, they simply need the tools, techniques and caring support to go within and find their own answers and solutions.
Life coaching sessions are nothing more than positive talk shops
Not so. Life coaching is very action oriented.
Whereas life coaches should be competent at listening generously and asking the right questions of their clients, their primary role is to get their clients taking the actions that are necessary to bring about the change they desire in their lives. Action breeds more action and consistent action brings about real change!
Life coaching is not effective for people who are fearful of change
Quite the contrary.
Most people are naturally averse to change. Through life coaching people can come to realise that personal growth requires change. If something is not growing, it is, by definition dying.
Life coaching helps people to see change from a new perspective and to associate it with growth, opportunity and fulfilment.
People who are doing well in life don’t need life coaching.
False. It may be surprising to learn that the top life coaches specifically target people who appear to be doing well.
If you are already motivated and have a bias towards action, think how much better you will perform with a coach who is totally committed to helping you achieve your dreams.
Every top athlete has a coach to coax the very best out of them. Likewise, every personal achiever should have a coach to help leverage their capabilities.
Life coaching is just about setting and getting goals
There is far more to good life coaching.
Helping clients to set and achieve inspiring goals is indeed a fundamental part of good life coaching but this is more of a means to en end rather than the end itself.
By knowing how to set and achieve great goals, clients learn a tried and tested process for bringing about change and personal growth.
More important, though, is for clients to get to know who they truly are and what their purpose is in life. Once this becomes clear, their lives take on powerful new meaning and they can begin to align their goals with that purpose.
Life coaching is incompatible with some religions and belief systems.
Not at all.
Life coaches, through their training, come to appreciate how every person is different, interpreting the world through a different and unique lens. One of the most important skills of a life coach is the ability to build rapport by making a genuine effort to try and ‘see the world through the eyes of the client’.
Life coaches are most certainly not in the business of imposing values or belief systems on their clients. They are there to hold up the mirror to their clients so that the clients can determine for themselves whether their values and belief systems serve them in living the lives they really want.
Life coaches should be living perfect lives
Frankly, that’s nonsense!
Firstly, what exactly is a ‘perfect life’? Even if there was such a thing, surely the person living the life should be the judge of that, not other onlookers!
Secondly, life coaches are ordinary people, like you and me, who just happen to have a real passion for helping others live their best lives. With the appropriate training they become equipped with simple yet powerful tools, techniques and skills that allow them to apply that passion in the most effective way.
Life experience is the most important quality to look for in a life coach
Not necessarily.
Life experience can be very helpful in assisting a life coach to relate to a variety of different issues and experiences that his or her clients may face. However, life experience without comprehensive training in life coaching is likely to be an impediment. Inadequately trained practitioners can easily get sucked into becoming advisers or mentors rather than effective coaches.
Training to become a life coach is really easy
It shouldn’t be.
I say ‘shouldn’t be’ rather than ‘isn’t’ because there are, sadly, plenty of ‘quick ’n easy’ courses put out there by fly-by-night operatives who would have you think that it is. Some profess to be able to turn anyone into a practising life coach with just a few weeks or months of basic training.
Professional training, however, involves learning and understanding a substantial amount of theory and then testing one’s ability to apply it with extensive practice coaching that utilises a tried and tested coaching model and/or system.
The New Insights Life Coach Training and Certification Programme, for example, requires trainee coaches to set aside more than 300 hours for study and practice.
Effective? You bet!
Easy? No!
Thanks again for the more elaborately definition of life coaching and i’m glad that i’m finally starting the introduction course 101 next month
Absolutely Brilliant and helpful.
🙂
Nice read, as always Bill. It sounds as though this profession has helped many people in the past and it looks like many more in the future! I like the honesty you show about how much in-depth training it takes to become a life coach. As the old saying goes, “If it’s worth doing something, its worth doing properly!”
Can’t wait for the next blog
Yes, indeed, especially in the business of helping others live their best lives! Thanks Peter.
Oh, and by the way, forgot to mention … huge thanks Bill, this is an excellent article and such clear answers to these myths.
Whilst I have referred a few people to you and your course, let me also say here that the New Insights Life Coaching Course is excellent.
When I started the course myself I did so initially with irritation and impatience as I considered myself to be an expert having a PhD from the University of Life.
Fortunately I gritted my teeth and promised myself that I would apply myself and do the course diligently with no short cuts.
That’s how I discovered how brilliant the course is. I was suitably impressed, humbled and embarrassed 🙂
Thanks Bill
Cheers
Jon
Thanks for the follow up comments Jon. Much appreciated!
I’m currently in the UK (planning to get back home to Cape Town as soon as possible). Counselling over here is a very different beast. Often when I tell people that I’m a Life Coach, after the initial confused and vacant looks, people will try and clarify it for themselves by saying, “oh, so you’re like a Counsellor.” Here’s the UK’s NHS definition of what Counselling is:
“Counselling is a talking therapy that involves a trained therapist listening to you and helping you find ways to deal with emotional issues.”
Hi Jon, I’d be interested in what your stock response is to people who say “Oh, so you’re like a counsellor”.
Best wishes.
Thank you Bill. Much appreciated.
Much appreciated Bill, throwing up more light.
Great!
Thank you for such a comprehensive, balanced and convincing evaluation of the benefits of embarking on a life coaching journey. I feel privileged to have been given the opportunity to experience the wonder as well as to have gained such deep new insights, that it motivated me to take the greatest risk I have ever taken in my life, which was to give up a well-paying, prestigious position in the corporate world to become a New Insights Pro Life Coach. Since then, I have lead a purpose-driven life in which I partner with others as they learn how to unleash their true potential.
Thank you for your wonderfully inspiring comments Karen!
Hi Bill
This is such a great blog. It cleared up many myths and it also taught me how I can use my experience as a Counsellor in a complementary way. I cannot wait to start with my training soon
I’m so glad it helped!
That was inspiring! thank you.
I’m pleased … and you’re welcome!