Five Crucial Questions To Ask Yourself

“The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.”

– Ursula Le Guin

If you relate more to the latter, don’t despair. You’re among the majority. That’s hardly surprising given the stresses, strains and demands of day to day living in the twenty-first century!

But you owe it to yourself to take a little time out from ‘life as usual’ and take stock before taking action to wrest back control of your life. (In fact, even if you think you’re well in control of your life, you should do this).

Here are five crucial questions you should answer for yourself if you want to stop being played and start being a serious player.

1. Who Am I?

It’s such a simple question but, my goodness, it can certainly provoke some soul searching!

The fact is that we are used to spending most of our time trying to interpret information from our external worlds that is fed to us via our five senses. So, we tend to be more adept at summing up other people than we are at putting a finger on exactly who we might be!

Have you ever been asked the question “Who are you?” Probably not! The default line of enquiry is “What do you do?” as if your vocation somehow defines who you are as a person!

Force yourself to spend some quality time answering this question honestly. Be wary of concerning yourself with what you think the answer should be or ought to be. That’s a signal of an external world focus, or in other words, prioritising the perspective of other people rather than your own inner being.

2. What defines me and why?

Our lives are made up of a rich tapestry of different events and experiences, each of which create unique emotional responses and lead to specific actions and behaviours that have certain consequences that we, in turn, give meaning to. This is what shapes us into the people we are.

No two individuals experience life the same way. Likewise, no two people will assign the precise same meaning to the events and experiences they are exposed to.

There are two important messages here.

First, we are each uniquely crafted human beings, shaped by the various defining events and experiences in our lives.

Second, and more importantly, we each have a choice as to the meaning that we assign to the events and experiences we live through. This implies that we have the ability to shape or define our own lives!

Take some time to think through the major life experiences that have come to define you. Then relish the thought that you are actually in control of the outcome. You can redefine who you are simply by changing the meaning that you assign to your experiences.

3. What do I stand for?

What is really, really important to you in life? What is it that you place great value on? What would you be prepared to draw a line in the sand about?

Juts as you have a choice as to the meanings that you apply to the various events in your life and therefore how they shape you and your personality, you have a choice as to what you value and what you stand for as an individual.

Life takes on greater meaning when you assign real value to aspects of it and take a stand to pursue and promote that which you value.

It could be justice for all, the eradication of poverty, animal rights, the environment, children’s education, family connections or love and peace.

Whatever it is, simple or not so simple, decide what it is that you really value most and that stirs your passion.

4. What am I here to do?

There is a natural progression from thinking about what you are passionate about to thinking about why you are here on earth and what you are meant to do.

Some call it their life’s purpose, others call it their ‘big why’.

If your life is largely happy and joyful it is likely that you are following the purpose that was intended for you. If life is filled with stress, anxiety and frustration it is likely that you have veered away from your intended purpose.

Your emotions are like finely tuned sensors. Follow your purpose and they will reward you with feelings of contentment, meaning and harmony. Go off track and they will alert you with feelings of discontentment, disharmony, and meaninglessness.

Make it your mission to uncover and follow your life purpose. (New Insights trained life coaches are experts in helping with this).

5. What’s holding me back?

It might seem like this question belongs at the start, but if you’re like most people you won’t know what is holding you back, or even that you are being held back, if you don’t answer – or at least give consideration to – the other questions first!

What holds people back from living a life of purpose, or simply from achieving their goals and aspirations, is almost never a lack of resources and almost always a lack of self belief.

Self belief attracts resources, whereas lack of self belief chases them away!

Self belief comes from knowing who you are, knowing that you have the power to shape your own destiny, knowing what’s important to you and having a sense of purpose.

That’s right … it comes from taking time to explore the answers to the first four questions!

The coaching model that underpins the New Insights Life Coaching System, in which clients are taken through a multi-session transformative coaching programme, is specifically designed to help clients answer the above five questions in order that they may cease surviving … and start thriving.

Life is for living 🙂