From Existing to Living

“The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.”

– Louis E. Boone

A double blow

The importance of this statement struck me in a double blow on Sunday.

For many years while living in London, part of my daily commute involved walking over the landmark London Bridge. For that reason it will always hold a small, yet special place in my heart.

On Sunday I awoke to the news that seven people had been killed and nearly fifty injured in a dreadful terrorist attack. This coming hard on the heels of a barbaric attack on concert goers in Manchester.

Then, later in the day, on opening the South African Sunday newspapers, I found myself reeling again – this time due to what appears to be clear proof of monumental and systemic corruption and deceit at the highest levels of SA government. This, just twenty odd years into what was once hailed as one of the best examples of a new democracy.

“Quite some weekend for bad news,” I thought after being thoroughly bewildered and upset by the US decision, announced on Friday, to withdraw from the hard fought climate agreement in Paris.

An emotional toll

I regard myself as an optimist and have always been cautious of getting swept up in the tide of negativity that greets one in the media. But as the day progressed, my wife and I were drawn into having to deal with a situation, close to home, involving a relative experiencing serious levels of anxiety.

In bed, while trying to fall asleep that night I have to admit to the day having taken an emotional toll on me.

In reflective mood

Yesterday, I felt in a reflective mood, determined to understand what message we should take from a seemingly increasingly unpredictable and unstable world.

The answer came last night in the form of a TV programme featuring couples who had opted to ‘get off the grid’ and go and live in the wild.

From existing to living

Asked by the programme host what life lessons they had been taught by making this courageous (some would say crazy) decision one couple had no hesitation in responding that it had given them the opportunity to go from merely existing to living.

Since seeing the show last night I’ve had this comment ringing in my ears.

When you are surrounded by news of terrorist attacks, corrupt politicians, appalling leadership, faltering economies and moral decay it is easy to withdraw into one’s shell, surrender to anxiety and even depression and basically suspend your life while you hope that someone or something out there will sort things out.

In other words, it’s easy to adopt an approach of existing, rather than living, as the guy on TV put it.

That’s not what life is for. Life is very much for living.

And sometimes you have to get on and live your life regardless of what might be going on in the outside world. Short of having your say and voting, you have to realise that you cannot control your country’s political or socioeconomic affairs but you can certainly control what you do with your own life.

My mother-in-law once lived in a very beautiful but very remote part of South Africa. We would call her up once a week to ask after her and, more often than not, she would regale us with stories about the carefree and very stimulating life she led in her small but very close knit community.

She was blissfully unaware of current affairs and the stream of negative news that spewed forth from the mainstream media … and she enjoyed a great life … far more than a mere existence.

Live life to the full

We’re not all in a position to live in a remote area and not all of us would choose to live like that but the point is that we all have the resources to live life to the full regardless of all the unsavoury things that may be going on in our world.

All it takes is the adoption of the right mindset.

Live life to the full. Accept that which you have no or little control over but do not let it control or define you. Create your life the way you wish it to be and hold yourself up to the rest of the world as an example of what is possible.

Go do it!