Many years ago I learnt a valuable lesson about how to deal with and overcome seemingly intransigent problems that create unnecessary stress and frustration in one\’s life.
Sometimes lessons go unheeded as the memory of what was learnt fades with time and a refresher course is required!
My repeat lesson happened last week and was – quite appropriately – dressed up as a common modern day issue.
Allow me to share the story with you …
[box type=\”shadow\”]\”Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking of them.\”
– Alfred North Whitehead[/box]
Technology – a vital element
You can\’t get away from the fact that technology forms a vital element of doing business, in almost every industry, today. For many of us, particularly those in the \’people\’ industry, technology is something taken for granted that happens in the background.
But what happens when it simply fails to work the way it should – or \’crashes\’, in the techie vernacular?
The repercussions can be quite dramatic as I found out.
Your server is overloaded. Your server is overloaded. Your server …
On Friday the 10th August this year, at around 10am I noticed that emails were starting to stack up in my outbox and I was getting a constant stream of error messages relating to server overload or unavailability.
Very frustrating, I thought, but nothing out of the ordinary. No doubt some glitch that our Internet Service Provider (ISP) would soon sort out.
Later that afternoon, realising that the sending problem had not gone away, despite being freely able to receive email. I logged a fault with our ISP and was told nothing appeared to be wrong but that tests would be done on the broadband line.
Trying to run a business
Having heard nothing by the time Saturday morning arrived I was rather peeved, to say the least. \”Don\’t these people realise I am trying to run a business that prides itself on customer responsiveness?\” I thought.
\”If I can fix this before Monday then few people will know that there\’s been a problem\” I reasoned and I set out with manic fervour to identify the cause of the repeated error message by doing some research online.
Drinking from a fire hydrant
As I trawled the Internet for advice I couldn\’t help being impressed by how just about any information, on any subject imaginable, is there in great quantity, literally at our fingertips.
I was reminded of a quote by a guy called Mitchell Kapor who said: \”Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.\”
Sure enough a search on Google for \”error message −3259\” turned up a raft of advice from the boffins at Microsoft, Apple and various other geek forums.
Deepening frustration
I eagerly set to work following the steps proposed to resolve the problem … but my excitement quickly turned to deeper frustration as nothing I tried (and I tried an awful lot) seemed to make one iota of difference.
In desperation, I tried sending email from other computers in the office – but was faced with the same problem. And I quickly realised that mine was not the only outbox that was resolutely refusing to empty.
The only consolation, I thought, scratching my head on Sunday evening was that the problem could not lie with my computer. It was common to all the computers in the office.
Darned suppliers
My suspicions were quickly redirected back to our suppliers.
After a fruitless weekend and a pile of unsent mail I headed off down to the local wireless hotspot armed with my laptop and a raft of outward bound company email.
To my astonishment, the outbox emptied as soon as I connected up leaving me convinced that the problem lay with the telephone utility company and substandard line quality into our office.
Or perhaps not?
As the week wore on (with frequent shuttles to and from the local hotspot) that theory soon took a knock. After substantial investigation, the telephone utility washed its hands of the problem, preferring to point the finger of blame at our inhouse wireless network and router.
A new router and wireless base station later … and the problem still stubbornly refused to go away. I was left to tear my hair out and wonder where to next.
In the days that followed, our ISP tried switching our connection through three different outgoing servers requiring changes to all of the mail account settings on our computers. All of this proved ineffective.
Surrender
On Friday the 17th, a week after this ridiculous issue had raised its ugly head, I decided to raise the white flag.
I swallowed my pride, opened my wallet and called the finest technician I knew to come on site to do a complete step by step problem diagnosis.
But my pleas of great urgency fell on deaf ears. The thing about good technicians – just like good life coaches – is that they are really busy. So I had to settle for a Monday appointment.
Exhausted from my battle with technology and hugely frustrated from the backlog of \’real work\’ it had created, I forced myself to back off.
When all else fails …
I decided to try and cool my mounting stress levels by leaving the office, slumping in front of the nearest TV and immersing myself in the excitement of the third England-South Africa cricket test!
That did the trick.
I mean it. When I got back to my desk later that day I couldn\’t help notice an empty outbox and sighs of relief around the office.
I quickly called the ISP and the telephone utility in turn to enquire about the magical fix they had brought to bear. \”We haven\’t done anything,\” came the reply.
A \’diagnosis\’, at last
I was left to raise my eyes to the heavens, accept a diagnosis of \’GOK\’ and ruminate over the learning that this curious challenge had meant to impart to me.
Sage advice remembered
I smiled as I remembered the sage advice of one of my bosses back in corporate life. Seeing me becoming increasingly frustrated by my inability to overcome a particularly stubborn problem he called me over and said:
\”Bill, you\’ve been pushing relentlessly against a brick wall for too long. Breathe deeply, relax a bit, take a step back and watch in amazement as the brick wall crumbles and falls towards you.\”
Coincidence, or …
Now I think of it, Friday 10th August was the birthday of my late father, who would have been 95. Perhaps this was his way of reminding me to slow down, chill out and remember not to take life too seriously?
The most profound lesson of all, is that we need to be reminded daily of how to accept “the things that we cannot change” (it doesn’t get much better than the Serenity Prayer, when it comes to inspiration on this issue). A Buddhist monk I know recommends practising daily meditation and cultivating an attitude of “Patient Acceptance”. He used the example of when one is lost: one can either panic, or one can accept the situation and consider one’s choices: if you’re a woman, you ask someone to assist you, if you’re a man, you explore another route! Our total dependence on technology is perhaps something that is worth examining. In my opinion, it has resulted in an obsessive-compulsive type of existence, in which there is a reluctance to disconnect for any great length of time to indulge in, and to explore the “simple pleasures of life”, which I am sure will “outlive” the thing we idolise, worship, (and without which we believe we cannot survive), called technology. Perhaps we should reflect upon how we used to communicate with each other before the era of the “email”?
A superbly relevant point Karen!
Let go and let God.
The same thing happened to me and I fixed it by emptying all my trash and sent folders. About two thousand in all. The computer was simply overloaded carrying all that. Wendy
It’s patience thing. We all pray: Dear Lord, give me patience and give it NOW!
🙂
Bill I dont know if you have ever heard of a children’s story. A man was on his way to town (walking), wearing a big coat and a straw hat as it was a bit chilly. The Sun and the Wind decided to play a game and see who would get the man to take off his coat easily, the Wind went first, the Wind blew and blew and blew as heavily as he possibly could, getting more violent and angry, trying all the tricks but the man held on to his clothes very very tightly not giving up one bit, the Wind got tired and gave the Sun a chance to try but knowing that the man wont take off his coat and hat. The Sun however tried a different approach, the Sun smiled slowly and very relaxed using 90% less energy than the Wind had, the man got relaxed and unbuttoned his coat and eventually took it off and put it on his shoulder and happily continued with his journey. The Sun had won that round fair and square with no stress, no frustration just relaxed.
Sometimes when we push too hard we get NO response. Im glad you had no choice but to relax because a great lesson came and you shared it with us. Thank you
Lovely story, thank you.
Lovely article Bill….and we think WE are in charge??? Humbles us hey?
Hi Bill, all in a day’s work… (Quoting Header from regular Readers’ Digest column) Often it happens that one feels urged to ‘find’ a solution (yourself) a.s.a.p. if not sooner. Or, someone is to sort this out NOW! 😀 After many years I eventually got to realise that if all else fails, read the manual. And for this situation it call’s for life’s manual. Ask for help! Even if you have to pay for it.
If you’re not a Techie you’re not a Techie (and neither is my son…)
If only there had been a manual!
This was a special one for me, thanks Bill , many many lessons to learn from that experience, need to summarised to a page and use it as my laptop screen saver,
Once again thanks for the inspiration,
Thanks Jeph!
Thank you Bill, for sharing this most profound experience and inner challenge. A key quality I am learning to develop (for the past 1500 years or so …) and which I encounter in my clients also, is the ability to descern between those moments when outcome-driven action is necessary, and the moments when I need to step back so that another, more wise dynamic can enter. Taking appropriate action sometimes means consciously surrendering, which is often more difficult than anything else we can ‘do.’
Great contribution – thanks Arjan!
I read this just in time. I have returned home from holiday all chilled and relaxed only to find a hot water pipe had burst whilst I was away. I shall remember this lesson as I try to fix the pipe with my amature plumbing skills.
PS I don’t think watching England v South Africa would have but me in such a relaxed state of mind though.
Patrick
Good point – it depends on your perspective I guess 🙂
Hi Bil, This only confirms my long held belief that it is only when we release that things fall into place, as they are meant to. Of course we have to do everything to ensure a good outcome, but once we have done that, just exhale and release. Thank you for sharing this.
Absolutely, Jasmine. Hopefully I have got this now!
I totally agree – just leave it to the universe and the answer will come – it works every time!
I had a few similar experiences in my life, where once I had let go of the problem, “miraculous” things happened and the problem no longer existed. Great blog Bill, I always enjoy my time on your blog.
Indeed. The Universe is a mysterious – yet miraculous – place!
A great message Bill, one I need to hear often as well…. I think that those of us who are driven to success need to remember to chill out and watch the cricket more often.
Neil
Wise words as always!