Life Coaching and Misperceptions Explained

Common misperceptions

The most common misperception is that the primary role of life coaches is to solve people’s problems, or at least provide wisdom, advice and guidance to help solve peoples’ problems.

On a similar theme, many believe that life coaching is just a newfangled term for mentoring.

Another common misunderstanding is that life coaching is a progressive (some would even say new age) form of counselling or therapy.

Yet another perception is that life coaches deal in success – that people with deep pockets hire life coaches to help them polish their personal brands, promote their images and deepen their pockets further.

None of the above

In fact, life coaching is none of these things, although, indirectly, life coaching can and does often contribute to the same outcomes.

These wrongly formed conceptions of what life coaches are and what they do, contribute to an impression, amongst some, that life coaches ought to behave and act a role models for the ‘perfect life’.

Just the other day, I heard someone in casual conversation talk in demeaning terms about a local life coach who I know to have done some outstanding work with clients.

“She claims to be a life coach but she’ll never see me as a client. She’s divorced and drives a rather scruffy old car – hardly what I would call the epitome of a successful life!”

The person who made those comments missed the point about life coaching completely … but the misguided idea that life coaches should show up as paragons of virtue and success does, unfortunately, persist in some quarters.

For all their passion and people skills, life coaches are, when all said and done, ordinary people. Show me a life coach who exemplifies the perfect life and I’ll show you a fraud. Life coaches know all too well that the concept of a ‘perfect’ life belongs in the category of flying elephants. Even the concept of success is highly subjective and means different things to different people.

Catalysts not consultants

Life coaches, as I’ve said, help bring about personal change. But they work as catalysts, not as consultants.

Let me unpack what I mean by this.

Anyone who has worked in an organisation of some kind will understand the role of a consultant. Even those with no corporate or organisational experience will appreciate that consultants are people with deep knowledge, understanding, and experience in a certain field.

Consultants are, essentially, providers of packaged solutions designed to meet the specific needs of their clients.

For example, if you decide to become more eco friendly and take your house off grid but know little to nothing about alternative energy systems, you might very well approach a consultant who would design a solution that will meet your requirements, or at the very least provide you with advice on how and what to do and at what cost.

A ‘life consultant’?

Now imagine there were such a thing as a ‘life consultant’.

It would be reasonable to expect that you might approach such a person with a problem that you want to solve or a goal that you want to achieve and they would go away, tap into their deep knowledge and expertise and come back with a proposed solution or tailored advice.

That might sound appealing, especially if you have plenty of money but no desire to do any of the hard work yourself!

Thinking of rich celebrities, anyone?

No sweat equity

The problem is that done-for-you solutions that apply to your personal life issues and aspirations carry none of your ‘sweat equity’ or ‘DNA’.

In other words, nothing about you, deep down, will have changed in the process. You will still hold the very same beliefs, values, rules, attitudes, opinions, biases, self-perceptions and so on. You do not grow as a person.

Put another way, if you have no inspiration to learn to drive, it makes no practical difference whether you have a 20 year old VW or a Ferrari in your personal garage!

Intimately involved and responsible

With a life coach, on the other hand, you are intimately involved in – and responsible for – designing the solution to your problem, or the goal you wish to achieve, along with the actions and milestones necessary to get there.

The life coach will show you how, help you unlock your talents and self confidence, will provide motivation, support, challenge and food for thought along the way, and will monitor your progress … but – and here’s the kicker – will not do any of the work for you.

The upshot of this is that your solution or goal is yours. It will have your fingerprints all over it and your heart and emotions embedded in it.

You will need to enact the necessary changes in your life to get you what you want and when you want it. In doing so, your self awareness will soar and you will grow and develop as a person.

Life experience needed … or?

A life consultant, if such a thing did exist, might be expected to have oodles of life experience, otherwise, you may ask, what would qualify them to design solutions for others?

But life coaches are facilitators, or agents of change in their clients, not consultants. And, as such, life coaches need far more than just life experience!

In fact, substantial life experience can sometimes be a drawback to a life coach in training, because it often goes hand in hand with a more rigid, ‘stuck-in-one’s-ways’ approach to life. And that’s the antithesis of the open minded, ‘what-if’ mentality required of a life coach.

Life coaches need four things

Fundamentally, in my opinion, life coaches need four things:

– a genuine passion for people;
– a thoroughly ethical disposition;
– an open, inquiring mind; and
– comprehensive and highly effective training that imparts awareness, knowledge, skills and experience.

The importance of quality training

The importance of quality training is the one thing that aspirant life coaches often underestimate.

As life coaching is a ‘soft skill’ career many people mistakenly believe that the training required will be relatively simple and therefore quick.

To that I say this:

If it is, then something is very wrong.

Life coaches have a critical responsibility to their clients. Each client is different. Each client situation is different. Each client’s needs and desires are different. Each client requires a unique approach and focus from the coach.

Inexpensive, short – and therefore normally superficial – courses, just don’t cut the mustard when it comes to preparing one to become an effective life coach.

In depth, quality training will bring about an internal shift in thinking and a leap in self awareness. In addition it will equip the aspirant coach with an array of different tools and techniques to use in a variety of different situations.

New Insights and life purpose

The New Insights Life Coach Training and Certification Programme has been developed and refined over many years and, today, offers comprehensive, state-of-the-art training that can be completed in your own time and at your own pace, with world class support.

At New Insights, we take life coaching beyond problem solution and goal achievement.

We’re committed to personal transformation that ultimately results in finding and living your life purpose and thereby attaining internal peace and happiness.

I have to ask:

“What could possibly be more important, in today’s world?”