Sex Coaching

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There are good reasons for the title of this week’s post as you will see shortly.

But let me make a blatant admission right up front. One of the reasons was to see what effect it might have on the email ‘open rates’.

The percentage of subscribers to this Blog who actually open the emails (and presumably go on to read the posts) has stayed remarkably constant over the years. I’m pleased to say that’s indicative of a loyal core of readers who will open up a new post regardless of the title.

No doubt there are also many people who have subscribed without ever opening an email or clicking through to read the Blog. Only they will know the reason. Perhaps the emails get sucked into their junk mail or (in the case of gmail) their promotional folders, never to see the light of day 🙁

And then there will be the more selective subscribers who choose to visit the Blog only if the topic sparks an interest. Perhaps there will be more than a fair share of those today 🙂

Anyway, back to the subject of this week’s post.

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\”Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.\”
– Woody Allen

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Sex Coaching (continued)

Coaching niche

At New Insights we always recommend to our trainee coaches, once they are well advanced towards certification, that they start to think about their future ‘coaching niche’.

Sex coaching is, of course an example of a very specific niche that we’ll get to shortly. But for now, let’s look at what we mean by ‘niche’ and why it’s important.

A niche (pronounced ‘neesh’ if you are not an American) is a specific target market that you would like to appeal to and that maybe described in a number of ways.

In America the old marketing saying goes: “It’s the niche that makes you rich” (In America they pronounce the word ‘nitch’) and there’s a great deal of truth to this.

Presenting yourself as the expert

No matter what industry you are in, your marketing and customer appeal will always be more powerful if you can present yourself as the expert in your particular field.

One of our top coaches likes to say: “Think of your niche as being your speciality. Metaphorically speaking your chosen field should be just an inch wide but your knowledge about it should run a mile deep. Most coaches make the mistake of targeting a field that’s a mile wide when their knowledge of it is only an inch deep!”

The shotgun approach

It is so true that many trained coaches believe that their best bet at being successful is what we call the ‘shotgun’ approach, that is to target anyone and everyone who might need or show some interest in coaching.

But there are problems with this approach.

Trying to be everything to everyone is a strategy that is prone to failure for obvious reasons. Let’s say that you are on the brink of retirement and looking for a coach to help you adjust to your new lifestyle. Would you choose person A who advertises as a ‘life coach’ or person B who advertises as a ‘retirement transitioning coach’?

It’s also a strategy that is likely to bring you many coaching clients that, in an ideal world, you don’t really want. We all tend to get on better with certain types of people, so why not choose the types you want to coach?

And how do you structure your fees when your strategy is one of very broad appeal? Do you set an ‘average’ rate if there is such a thing? People of lesser means will think you’re too pricey and the more well to do will think you’re too cheap!

A great niche makes real business sense

So carving out a great niche in the market makes real business sense and choosing a target market that you’re passionate about will make it easier for you to be seen as the expert in your field.

Here are just a few of the interesting niche markets that some of our trained life coaches have chosen to target:

  • Coaching for retirees
  • Youth coaching
  • Relationship coaching
  • Coaching of coaches
  • Body and mind conditioning
  • Coaching for job seekers
  • Coaching for stay at home mothers
  • Post redundancy coaching
  • Health and wellness coaching
  • Coaching for men
  • Coaching for women
  • Addiction recovery coaching
  • Work/life balance coaching
  • Spiritual coaching
  • Coaching for those facing major change
  • Personal development coaching
  • Sex (or sexual confidence) coaching

The lastmentioned is the inspiration behind this week’s post because I have noticed, with some curiosity, how a few of the very best New Insights trained coaches (and ladies at that) have been highly successful in this niche.

Sex is, of course, an integral and very important part of life for most, if not all of us. At the same time its an area that is sensitive, to say the least, when it comes to how people feel about and relate to each other.

So the idea of a life coach whose primary aim is to coach people on how to be more confident in – and derive more satisfaction from – their sexual relationships, would seem to make great sense, not so?

Your thoughts?

I’d be interested to hear from readers what other interesting niches they know of or can think that might be perfect for some life coaches.

Please do drop me a comment below. And don’t be shy if you’re a long-time subscriber but only a first time reader! 🙂

 

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Find out more about life coaching and becoming a life coach here:

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32 thoughts on “Sex Coaching”

  1. Hi Bill,
    thank you for your very interesting and inspiring blogs. I am thinking of a niche where I could help families improve relationships as I have experience and education in this field. Do you know of such a niche and do you have some advice for me?
    Thaks a lot!

    1. Hi Nenad

      This looks like a great idea. If you can think of a niche it exists!

      You may find it difficult to coach families in groups. If they are experiencing difficult dynamics then it is quite likely that they will have very different ideas on how to address that.

      My suggestion is that you target those parents who see belefit in being coached to help them improve their own relationships within their families.

      Good luck!

  2. Charlotte Cheetham

    Hi Bill,
    It was interesting to read your comments on sex coaching. When I finish my training I am hoping to do health coaching for young professional people (maybe too wide a remit?) but am hoping to incorporate sex coaching into health coaching. I think it may be a good niche to incorporate for young professionals. At the moment I work in a company as an occupational health advisor and am using more and more coaching techniaues as I progress with my training. I have found the people with most problems tend to be the apprentices (moving from school to a corporate life can be quite daunting for some) so maybe that should be my focus in future.
    Thanks for all your interesting blogs. They always provide me with food for thought.

    1. Thank you Bill for such inspirational thoughts,you Dnt know the impact of your words are to me,had it not been financial challenges l would have done the course and finished
      l really am learning so much
      thanks a million l hope one day l will be able to raise the money and do this coaching l am passionate about it

  3. Thanks for enlightening me once again Bill, I thoroughly enjoy reading your articles – much insight and wisdom. I am a life coach and until recently was specializing in Teenagers. I happened upon a book by Dr Shefali on Conscious Parenting and have made the conscious decision to change my niche. I have found that as much as I guide teenagers, they will take from it what they need in that moment, however as a result of them still being under the guidance of their parents/caregivers they struggle to maintain the use of the tools because ultimately it is the connection between parent/child that fulfills a child’s needs. Trust me its not an easy niche to choose as I have noticed that most parents resist the shift from ego to consciousness. I certainly have my work cut out for me but for the absolute love of children, I am willing to transition from teenagers to parents. As a conscious parent myself for a couple of years now I have realised the incredible value conscious parenting has had on my life and my children’s lives.

    1. Hi Karen. The work you are doing is invaluable. We find that teenagers take to life coaching very readily because it makes so much sense to them (before they have accumulated the fixed paradigms and limiting beliefs that tend to characterise us adults)! Nevertheless you are quite correct that if the parents do not actively support this for their children then it is of considerably lesser effect.

      I think what you are doing is clever, helping the youth by helping their parents, but it may turn out to be equally challenging for the reasons I have mentioned. Good luck!

  4. Hi Bill

    I found my first niche and passion from coaching women in prison. I then moved onto men and women on probation. Now I am creating a niche coaching women only ( nothing to do with prison this time) by helping them to triumph over adversity. The only thing I would say is the financial rewards for coaching in prison/ probation are not great by any means, the pay is what it is. By creating my future niche with women I believe I can be valued in the way I truly deserve.

    1. Interesting Annette. Thanks for sharing. I think the challenge for you is to define your niche with more precision (perhaps you have already). Good luck!

  5. Oh my, Bill, this post really made me laugh. For those in the coaching field whom you have disappointed by not giving out more information on the subject of sex coaching, I’d just like to add that a book I found very helpful is “The Art of Sex Coaching – Expanding Your Practice” by Patti Britton.
    For most niche’s, having a coach certification and experience is enough to start marketing yourself with a specialty but, with sex coaching, I do feel that you need to be well educated on the topic of sexuality and how that may change your coaching approach from the standard life coaching type sessions. You really have to be prepared to deal with anything, without embarrassment or judgement regardless of your personal values.

    1. Thanks for saving my bacon. I’ll try to be more bold in future!

      Anyway, I think this is great advice from an expert in the field. Thank you!

  6. Hi Bill, I always enjoy your emails and have taken on board many of your comments and tips thank you. Having coached many clients on a vast array of subjects, always using the 13 session format, I now have a client who, having completed 2 lots of 13, now wishes to deviate onto a single subject without that format. We started yesterday and the first session went well. I am going to have to think on my feet for future sessions with her though, and am thinking we perhaps should still “give a nod” to the traditional
    format, otherwise I am concerned there is no format at all. We have set a goal and utilised the SMERTIE rule so I am hoping it all works out. If so, my new niche area could be helping ladies to lose weight.

    1. Teresa, if you need some support or guidance on running free form sessions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. There are a few tips and techniques I can advise you on that makes the sessions a lot easier.

    2. Well I’m sure by now you are a very accomplished coach and going the freeform route will be a breeze for you. Good luck!

      P.S Weight loss coaching is a very important and potentially lucrative niche 🙂

  7. Thank you Bill. I always open your posts and I enjoy reading them. I’m still finding my feet in the coaching field and I appreciate the posts so much.

    Nkosi

  8. Hi Bill and readers? This is a very valid point. Bill, could you advise how I could become more of an ‘expert’ in this niche market? As I coach practice clients, I can definitely see the need to have a specific focus area and not just agree to coach every person who calls you?

    1. Hi Jill

      Being an expert and being perceived as an expert are of course two different things but are equally powerful in marketing yourself. To be a perceived expert in a niche you need to position yourself appropriately. Your job title, your website, your Blog can all help in this regard. Do your research on the niche and gather as much information as you can so you can talk authoritatively about your subject. You can give talks and webinars and write articles to help promote yourself. Best of all you need to be passionate about the niche you choose as your passion will rub off on others 🙂

  9. Hey Bill,

    Intriguing topic indeed! I was very interested to read what you had to say on this quite taboo subject. I am a tantric practitioner and I see the results of fear, shame and guilt has on peoples’ sexuality. A lot of clients cannot or won’t discuss issues with their partners inspite of my strong recommendation that they do. A lot of my clients are middleaged highly succesful businessmen who due to the stressful nature of their jobs and lifetsyl have some sort of sexual disfunction.

    Well, I broached the topic that’s taboo:). So silly of society to avoid the one subject we ALL have in common and do more often than anything else….after ablutions of course.

    Thank you
    Namaste
    Rani

  10. Hi Bill As one of your loyal readers, I open every email and gain knowledge and inspiration from each blog, so I certainly don’t need a “carrot.” There has been no need for me to create a “niche.” My gift is the ability to motivate, inspire, support and encourage others. I do that in life coaching and when I mentor. I take my lead from my client’s needs.

  11. The niche concept is certainly sensible and, like Gesche, I was imagining how many niches can a Life Coach adopt?

    A thought around, let’s say becoming a Coaching for Men coach, could also include a few different aspects including relationship, health and wellness or even sexual confidence coaching. Similarly I feel that many of the niches could overlap with other niches.

    Having said that, I feel that becoming a life coaching could be likened to the medical profession. In medicine, there would be the General Practitioner who would be likened to the life coach without a specific niche market, but, who caters for those who do not know what exactly their problem is in terms of coaching. And then there would be the specialist Medical Practitioners who would be likened to the nice Life Coaches. Both could work hand in hand, I presume, if the analogy stands. And then again, there would be a collaborative effort from Life Coaches to direct their “coachees” to the appropriate “specialist” to ensure the best results. It’s all about a question of knowing what is best for the person who needs the coaching, I feel.

    Thoughts?

    1. Welcome to the ranks of trainee life coaches Vinay!

      You make a great point. Your likening to to the medical field is a clever one, thank you for the analogy.

      Coaching for men is a niche but a pretty wide one. Within that niche there could, as you say, be many sub-niches in which you could position yourself.

      Generally it makes sense to be as specific (or narrow) as possible when choosing a niche but this will also depend on the environment within which you are operating. If you choose only to coach face to face and you live in a remote rural area where demand is low then it would of course make sense to go for broader appeal rather than too specific.

  12. Henry W Arendse

    Hi Bill, I’m pretty sure people expected you to say more about the topic. But as always you have an interesting way of getting everybodies attention, you certainly got mine. Thanks for highlighting the various niches one can choose to concentrate on. But here’s my question: “When one decide to work a specific niche, do you still use the full 13 session coaching program as the basis or do you adapt it according to the need of the client?”

    1. Hi Henry. Yes, I accept I may have disappointed some readers!

      The 13 session programme that New Insights has designed is excellent for general coaching and can form the basis for coaching to most niches but my recommendation is to adapt where necessary to meet the needs of your specific niche and/or the clients.

      It would be good to start off with the 13 session programme and then to adapt and build on it as your knowledge and understanding of your niche market grows. Remember, though, to make your clients aware when you deviate from the NI system and when you are presenting material that falls outside of the system (this is just to protect the integrity/reputation of the NI system).

  13. Good Morning, 🙂
    Well you gave me a lot of food for thought this morning.
    My niche market/tribe has been the only thing I have been thinking of now for the past month. I came to the conclusion that I would like to work with young driven individuals that would like to take their lives to the next level but don’t know how, i.e. that are going through a quarter life crisis. But now you got my interest spiked in the direction of sexual confidence as it is something I have always been passionate about, but it has never crossed my thought in a coaching perspective. Can one have two nitch markets?

    1. Absolutely Gesche, but given the fundamental differences in target markets you would be best off to separate the businesses and the marketing.

      As you can imagine, having “Youth direction and sexual confidence coach” on your business card would look highly imappropriate to many!

      Anyway, good luck with this!

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