The Six Human Needs

For example, someone who has no food will be all consumed by satisfying his hunger. He will throw caution to the wind in trying to get this survival need met. His desire for safety and security will only become an issue once there is sufficient food available for him to  stay alive.

It’s probably no surprise that human needs play a vital role in life coaching. New Insights has adopted an approach that is a little different from Maslow’s and a concept that was pioneered by Anthony Robbins.

The concept we teach is called The Six Human Needs.

Needs before values

Any good life coach knows that a client’s happiness is dependent on living a life that is in alignment with his or her authentic values. Values are those qualities or states of being that we uphold as being most important to us and that represent the type of life we aspire to live.

But whereas values play an important aspirational role in motivating us, our basic human needs are far more fundamental and more powerful in motivating our short term actions and behaviours.

Two of the six needs – growth and contribution – are higher level, or more spiritual needs and can only be realised during times when the more basic, or personal needs are in a harmonious state of balance.

Balancing the see saw

The other four needs are paired. You can imagine each pair as existing at opposite ends of a see saw. Too much of one and the see saw gets out of balance. Too much of the other and it gets out of kilter in the other direction!

When the basic needs are out of kilter it is not possible to focus on achieving the higher needs of growth and contribution. Indeed, such is the power of the basic needs in motivating our behaviours that we may even go so far as to violate our values to get them met.

Life coaches know how mentally destructive it can be to live a life that is not perfectly aligned with one’s values and will work with their clients to seek to bring their basic needs into a joyful state of balance.

Certainty vs Variety

We all have a need for certainty, comfort or security. But some of us become so fearful of change that we deprive ourselves of the variety we need to experience new and exciting challenges that help us to grow as individuals.

At the extreme, we find hoarders and hermits who cannot bear to let anything go or who cannot bring themselves to face up to engaging with other people. Many people live their lives with a deep feeling of discontent that comes from having a need for certainty that is completely out of balance.

On the other hand, some allow the need for constant variety to dominate their lives. This can result in addictive behaviours as they are always looking for the next ‘fix’.

The abuse of alcohol and drugs and indulging in multiple secret affairs are all examples of people who have an out of balance need for variety.

Love/Connection vs Significance

The need to fit in – to feel connected with others, respected by others, or even loved by others – is a remarkably powerful human need. It can easily give rise to the desire to please others even if that means doing and saying things that are not truly in our own interests.

People pleasers and ‘Yes men’ are good examples of those whose need for connection is out of balance.

At the other end of the imaginary ‘see saw’, is the need for significance.

Some people continually crave significance and may act completely out of character in order to achieve this. To appreciate this, one only has to look at some of the celebrity figures on the world stage with their wild mood swings, crazy antics and occasional bouts of debauched behaviour.

Finding the ‘sweet spot’

In order to pursue a life of happiness and fulfilment we need to find the sweet spot on our personal ‘see saws’ where our lower order needs of Certainty/Variety and Connection/Significance come into balance.

When we achieve that balance we can focus on growing, developing and giving back.

This goes to the heart of living a life of purpose and meaning.