The New Insights Life Coach Training and Certification Programme includes seven theory modules, the last of which aims to provide trainee life coaches with guidance on how to pursue excellence in their coaching practices.
In this regard, one of the techniques that we promote, is what we call ‘The Edge’.
That’s a strange term, I know – I’ll get to why we call it that shortly – but it is a technique – one could even say an approach – that every life coach, who aspires to be the best they can be, must get to know, understand and feel comfortable to apply.
Flattening the pancake
Those of you who follow the popular TV series, Dr Phil, will surely have heard him utter one of his favourite sayings:
“You can flatten the pancake all you like but it will still have two sides.”
What he means by this is that, whether one likes it or not, when it comes to relationship issues and/or disputes between people, there are always two sides to the story.
The two sides to life coaching
When we talk about The Edge in coaching we’re not in any way referring to some dispute mechanism, so you might wonder why I bring it up?
Well, just as there are two sides to a pancake, there are two key facets to effective life coaching.
1. Compassion and empathy
To be effective, life coaches simply must relate well to their clients. This involves many things but, primarily, it requires the coach to demonstrate compassion, understanding and empathy.
Most people who choose to train to become life coaches do so because they are genuinely passionate about people and helping people.
The first key facet of life coaching – having authentic compassion, understanding and empathy – is therefore something that comes quite naturally to most life coaches.
In fact, so much so that many struggle to prevent empathy turning into sympathy and their coaching practices from turning into ‘agony aunt’ services.
2. Challenging
On the other hand, effective life coaching also involves challenging clients to think creatively and move out of their comfort zones.
The whole premise of life coaching is built on its ability to help clients be, do and have more from life – and that can never happen without the necessary challenge to provoke the actions and behaviours required to move them above and beyond what they are used to.
Back to The Edge
Let’s get back to the concept of The Edge.
As Dr Phil so passionately points out, any flat disc-shaped object will always have two sides. And, separating those two very different sides, is an edge.
The coaching coin
At New Insights we like to use the analogy of a coin.
Set a coin down and it will, almost always, present with one of its sides facing up. Very occasionally, it may land on its edge presenting both sides equally.
The ability to present both facets of life coaching in relatively equal measure, is essential if it is to have the dramatic transformational effect that it is intended to have, and that the client deserves in exchange for their investment.
It is the second, ‘challenging’ face of the coaching coin that inexperienced life coaches are reluctant – perhaps even fearful – to present to their clients, for fear of ruining the relatedness that they have developed and nurtured.
Employing The Edge
Hopefully the term ‘The Edge’ is starting to make more sense now in the context of coaching.
Great life coaches are adept at employing The Edge, meaning that they consistently present the two sides of the coaching coin to their clients.
Just as getting a coin to stand on its edge is tricky, making a consistent habit of coaching with The Edge takes time and experience to perfect.
Presenting just one facet to the client is far easier, more natural and more comfortable … but it is also ineffective.
Coaches who employ The Edge show great compassion, empathy, caring and relatedness; attributes that are balanced by a challenging approach which is characterised by an unwillingness to tolerate mediocrity or more of the same old, same old, from their clients.
Amazing results
Skilful use of The Edge can deliver amazing results.
Clients feel the pride and benefit from the rewards that come from being stretched. At the same time, they have the comfort of knowing that they have a caring, supportive person in their corner cheering them on.
The result is a level of mutual respect and appreciation between client and coach that can lead to truly great things.
The Biggest Loser
Some years ago a TV programme series called ‘The Biggest Loser’ aired. In essence, people who wanted to lose weight and get fit, were assigned dedicated coaches to help them.
The show tracked the efforts and, often extraordinary achievements, of each client-coach pairing within the overall context of a competition to see which client could lose the most.
The Biggest Loser provided a wonderful showcase for how effectively the health and fitness coaches employed The Edge to help bring about the achievement of their clients’ goals.
At the heart of life coaching
The Edge speaks to what’s at the heart of effective life coaching – creating a challenging yet caring and supportive environment that promotes the client’s very best efforts to achieve whatever they set out to.
Did you enjoy this article?
Most of what is written about in this Blog derives, or is extracted from, the widely acclaimed and internationally accredited New Insights Life Coach Training and Certification Programme.
If you have an interest in broadening your life skills and training to become a life coach, please visit our main website. Navigate from Become a Life Coach in the menu bar.
Thank you for this one Bill. I have seen this aspect in real practice with some of my clients. When you hit the challenge button it must be hit with the apathetic support to our clients, it sort of make them feel eager and to jump to the next level feeling well supported. I love this.
Thank you.
You are so welcome Nhlanhla! By the way, I’m sure ‘apathetic’ was not the word you intended to use here?
Thank you Bill for highlighting this important balance. The Salt and Pepper of coaching 🙂
Ha ha – the salt and pepper!! I think more the honey and lemon perhaps 🙂
You have summarised the essence of the coaching relationship perfectly, Bill. The key aspect is striking that balance, because that is what our clients come to us for. To be supportively challenging and not just to support them. To help them identify where there is room for improvement in their action and to help them along that path by holding them accountable, but also by displaying empathy and letting them know that we are in their corner, celebrating their wins and cheering them on.
Well said Sarah!
People are generally a little fearful of change, especially that which requires them to step out of their comfort zones, so many clients will at first resist being challenged, using various forms of justification. This can be a form of subconcious test of the coach to see if they will back down or stick to their guns. Once it becomes clear that the coach won’t compromise on what’s needed to bring the required changes to bear, the client’s resistance will ease up. 🙂
What a thought-provoking theme, Bill, which encourages us, as coaches, to examine closely, not only the methodology which we apply, but more importantly, the manner in which the content is delivered. It highlights, for me, the importance of listening to one’s inner voice and sharpening one’s awareness to ascertain that fine line to which you refer. Equally as important, is our ability to listen attentively to our clients, so that we can develop the intuition to create the most appropriate questions, which act as the catalyst for an opportunity to dig deep. It is this opportunity to dig deep that precedes the major benefits that emerge from transformative coaching. What a privilege it is to have experienced the wonder of it and to have had an opportunity to pass it on to others, since 2013.
Many thanks for your helpful comments Karen.
Thanks for this, Bill. This really highlights again the ‘balance’ aspect. Both sides (of the coin) are required to bring about successful change, challenging clients to step out of their comfort zones, but with the support, compassion and understanding from the coach to back it up and talk through any challenges. The ‘sweet spot’ is the edge (of the coin) which nicely balances both sides – challenge along with empathy/support.
Yes, indeed Rhona – nicely summed up, thank you!