A wise man once said that FEAR means False Evidence Appearing Real.
The vast majority of our fears never come to pass. Experts have estimated that around 90% of our fears are based on things that will never happen!
That means we waste an awful lot of time and energy worrying about things that don’t matter!
Add to that the time and energy spent worrying about things we can do nothing about and you\’ll start to appreciate how much time is wasted through worry and fear when it could be put to much better use.
[box type=\”shadow\”]\”I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.\”
– Mark Twain[/box]
Are your fears real?
You may very well fear something that isn’t real, but the fear you feel is very real and extremely powerful.
The feeling of fear can take the wind out of your sails, stop you in your tracks, suck away your confidence and destroy your hopes and dreams.
Do you choose fear?
Can you imagine the great strides you could make if fear simply wasn\’t an option.
Imagine taking all the energy and time that\’s used up sitting around contemplating the bumps in the road – and diverting it towards moving forward in the direction of your goals and dreams!
Are you letting fear affect your life?
As humans, we all have fears of some kind or another but we also have the power to choose whether and how we allow fear to affect our lives.
How much time do you spend thinking and worrying about \”What if this …\” and \”What if that …\” when you could be taking action, getting on with it and learning from your experiences so that you get better and better at the choices you make?
Fear and worry can play havoc with your life, if you let them. Alternatively, you can make the conscious choice to gain control over your fears.
What Causes Your Fear?
Analyzing what causes your fear can go a long way toward helping you invalidate and overcome it.
Here are some of the most common reasons for your fears:
Childhood experiences:
Even long forgotten experiences can be the cause of many fears. Those experiences get stored in the subconscious mind and can affect the way you think and feel about current experiences.
For example, if a dog had bitten you as a child, you might harbour a fear of dogs to this day. Whenever you see a dog your subconscious reminds you to be wary by triggering the emotion of fear. This despite the fact that the vast majority of dogs just want to be your friend.
Observations and hearsay:
Many of the things you see and hear about today could be the cause of your fears.
For example, hearing about the failure of others might have ingrained into you a fear that you will never succeed, no matter how hard you try.
In the same way, seeing your friends become hugely successful could also stir up a fear of failure within you due to your competitive spirit.
Beliefs:
Throughout your life, you’ve learned things from others. Many times these things aren’t based on facts but merely opinions. Nevertheless, you learned them as truths, and they can cause fears that keep you from pursuing your dreams.
For example, you may have learnt from your parents or your peers that academic excellence is a requirement for success in any career.
Although there are countless stories to contradict this – there are many wildly successful entrepreneurs and business people who really struggled academically – you may have adopted this learning as a truth; one that fuels your fear of being able to succeed in whatever you choose to do.
Insight into what\’s holding you back
Your experiences, observations, and learned beliefs are at the root of your fears. If you reflect on your fears, determine what they are, and then trace them back to their beginnings, you can often gain insight into why they may be holding you back.
Once you’ve figured this out, you can start the process of overcoming your fears.
… But you need to figure out what it is you want to overcome before you can start to do anything about it!
Hi Bill
It has taken me a while to respond because i’ve been so busy facing some of my fears! I learnt an interesting thing over the last few weeks, it turns out they are not true. Seriously, all those dreadful thoughts i spend a lot of time and energy frightening myself with are simply not true.
Like you suggested Bill, i chose not to let fear rule my life and i can highly reccomend it. It isn’t the easiest journey to make but one well worth encouraging yourself to do. As always a great post!
Good for you Tania. This is a powerful realisation and a very liberating choice to make
Hi, Bill
This is a great message and a wind under my wings to soar very high.
Thjank you.
Talking about childhood experiences , I recently discovered that the root of my issues is linked to as far back as when I was 13 years old.To cut a long story I have often wondered why I RESENT being told what to do, and why I struggle to stand up to bullies at work? A very difficult situation to avoid especially when you work with micro-managers that prefer to manage the person rather than perfomance. It nearly drove me over the edge , I tell you this 13 year old girl in me has been making the adult in me crazy everytime I fail to stand up for myself, I thank God that I am now on my way to recovery.I have also since found the right person to work with who is helping me to uncover & to overcome my fears. This article comes at a perfect time for me, Thanks Bill for restoring my confidence.
It was fear of a lack of money that stopped me from leaving my comfort zone (a well paying job in the corporate and a good pension fund), but I knew that my soul was slowly dying. It was only when Life pushed me out of the” cocoon” in which I was trapped, that I realised that I had NO REASON to fear. God has replaced my fear of lack with abundance (not only the monetary kind), because I decided to SURRENDER, to HAVE FAITH, and to ask Him to help me to fulfill what I believe is my true purpose here on earth, by using my time, talents, gifts and resources to help others to be the best version of themselves.
Thanks for this message. I know that I am often paralyzed by fear. I try looking into the past, but for some reason I cannot seem to find anything but more fear. There are areas of my life I just simply cannot recall…… I would very much like to find a way around this…
Hi Kele Looking into the past is almost like keeping yourself stuck in fear and grabbing at clouds that float by. Fear keeps a hold of you if you allow it to. Perhaps recalling these areas of l your life may cause more anxiety and the very fact that you are continually looking into the past sounds like it isn’t helping. Dealing with fears that are alive in the present is one of the most courageous things we can do. I can say this hand on heart from many years coaching experience and personal. If you work with the right person they will help you overcome this. Good luck and done’t give up.
Kele,
Remind yourself every day that the past has no power to hurt you unless you keep dragging it along with you. The past is dead and gone, the only reality is the present moment; resolve to make it the finest moment continually.