New Insights offers a free online journaling platform with a 52-week self-guided course that aims to enhance self awareness.
Keeping a journal may not be for everybody – I know that I was less than keen when my life coach first suggested it some years ago – but the fact is that when used in conjunction with coaching it is one of the most powerful tools to enable personal growth and development.
One of our journal clients recently posted a public response to her weekly journal question “Who are you now?” that was to provide the inspiration for today’s blog post.
In her response the person concerned went to some effort to outline, not who she felt she was but who she wanted to become.
[box type=\”shadow\”]“Courage is the hallmark of spirituality. Courage comes when you love yourself for who you are.”
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Who are you? (continued)
Taking time to reflect
Her response left me realising how few of us take time to reflect on who we really are, what defines us, what unique talents we have and what we love about ourselves.
Most of us spend our waking moments thinking either about the future, what it might hold and what we want to do and become or about the past, how it has affected us and what might have been if only …
All we have is the present
The truth is that the past cannot be relived and the future is impossible to experience. All we have is the present and to live fully and happily in the present we must properly understand who we are.
Learn to help others to help yourself
In my work, I invariably get feedback from trainee life coaches who find that the challenge of learning how to help others to come to terms with who they are and what their purpose is, has a remarkable effect on their own self awareness.
One of the most touching comments I received from a trainee reflecting on an assignment (I’ll call her Jill though that’s not her real name) read as follows:
“As I worked steadily through the programme materials, with a growing sense of consciousness about my future role in helping others to find themselves, something amazing happened. I began to become very aware of me, who I am, what I am good at and what I am here to do.
At first I felt awkward, as if this was a form of inappropriate self indulgence … but soon I realised that in order to be the best coach I can be I need, first and foremost, to know who I am, what unique gifts I have to offer and what I love about me.”
Self deprecating
Jill’s use of the words “inappropriate self indulgence” sum up the guilt that many of us feel when we introspect. After all, it has been deeply ingrained in many of us, partly through misguided religious teachings, that we are sinful types in need of redemption.
It’s little wonder that we can be so self deprecating.
We are taught that we need to strive to become better people, to be more and do more in order that we may have more. There is certainly nothing wrong with aspiring to be more but the problem is that this aspiration is often borne out of a feeling that we are very little to begin with.
Social problems
Not knowing who we are, or being able to feel comfortable and confident in our own skins, gives rise to numerous social problems in a world where success and ability is seen as being judged, not from within, but by others.
Such is the need of some to ‘fit in’ or ‘be approved of’ that they will go to great lengths, which include, at the one end of the continuum, being passive people pleasers and, at the other end, being controlling and even abusive manipulators.
Building the best platform
Knowing who you are – and loving yourself for it – is in no way selfish. Instead it is the best platform for a life marked by real personal growth and contribution – ironically, the essential elements for truly selfless living!
So, I have a little question that you might like to spend some quality time reflecting on today:
Just who are you?
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I love being asked questions because it encourages me to think and to explore possibilities. I love asking my clients questions such as this one, as it encourages them to dig deeper in their quest to get to know and understand themselves a little better.
🙂
I am a living walking motivator. I have a slogan and book binder that reads “Who I Am Makes A Difference”
Good for you Vinita – we need more of you!
Thank you, i would like to comment on the sinful nature in us. It is very real, and i agree some churches push it to the extent we feel we are bad. I just see it as an awareness, it is like anything in life, for example if your car has a problem you know about you fix it. I think you have mentioned it before, the story of an old Indian chief talking to a young person about life. He explains that there are two wolves in each of us, a good wolf and a bad wolf, and the young man says to him, which one is stronger, and he replies, the one you feed the most. My life coach training, showed me exactly who i was, i had a choice to accept it, or build on it. I am still building. Maybe you could include life awareness in you business name, it may open a whole new target group for you.
Thanks for your contribution Chris