Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work, and What Does!

The Change Cycle

In the New Insights Life Coach Training Programme we introduce our trainee coaches to a simple model of change. We call it the ‘Change Cycle’.

Deliberate personal change always begins with a state of unhappiness with the status quo.

Whether your intent is to shed a few kilos of excess weight, get a higher paying job, start a small business, or improve your relationship with a loved one, the source of your desire for change is always rooted in a feeling of discontent with the current state of things.

The next stage in the cycle is contemplating the course of action to take.

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions this generally involves a fairly broad brush idea of what it is that you want to accomplish. Using the weight loss intention as an example, it might be that you set your sights on dropping 20 kg.

Stage three in the cycle involves taking action.

You’ll appreciate that a New Year’s resolution is normally made while you are enjoying time off from work or your usual daily routine. You have a window in which to relax, destress and get excited about how much better life could be, if you could just make a few simple changes in the new year ahead.

Refreshed and re-energised after the holiday period, you tackle your New Year’s resolution with gusto and – sticking with the weight loss example – hit the gym with a vengeance on day 1 of returning to work!

Stage four in the change cycle is the difficult part, as it involves maintaining action. This is where most New Year’s resolutions come unstuck.

Why?

The return to ‘life as usual’

Because by now, you are right back into what I like to call ‘life as usual’. The daily routine has set in, the excitement of the holiday has worn off and the challenges of day to day life are back to suck away your precious time and energy!

Your earlier enthusiasm for going to the gym early in the morning starts to wane, as you realise there is still a proverbial mountain to climb. You’ve lost just 3kg but you’re feeling exhausted and the stress of your daily routine has caught up with you again.

This is where the fifth stage in the change cycle kicks in – regression!

Five sessions a week spent visiting the gym drops to just two as you tire of the effort and begin to remember just how much you have on your plate. Your attempts to eat a more healthy diet begin to fall prey to your tried and trusted go-to diet in times of stress – junk food and chocolate.

Most New Year’s resolutions are made in the absence of any formal support group that can help you bounce back from the regression period. As a result, the regression deepens and finally gives way to a complete return to your old ways and habits. Your honourable intention to try to lose 20kg is placed firmly on hold for another year.

There is another way

Fortunately, there is another way.

Whereas New Year’s resolutions are almost always destined to fail, properly conceived, executed and supported goals are almost guaranteed to work.

New Insights life coaches are specialists in helping clients set, and bring about, the change necessary to achieve personal goals that are important to them.

We use a specially designed process to ensure that a client’s goals are suitably ambitious yet achievable, very specific in terms of the nature of the goal and the timing assigned to it, and truly inspiring to the degree that the goal can be read on a daily basis and still evoke great emotion and excitement.

Clients are encouraged to study and understand the model of change so that they are fully prepared for the period of regression that will inevitably set in at some point.

Our coaches are there to support and motivate their clients to move through the regression stage and on to the heady celebration stage, once they have achieved what they set out to achieve, if not more.

A recipe for success

Any recipe to bring about the change required to achieve anything of significance in life, must include these three key ingredients:

1. Crystal clear intent (or a lucid vision of your desired state);
2. A robust plan of action that breaks the goal down into smaller, more manageable steps or milestones; and
3. An unwavering commitment to take and maintain the necessary actions required to achieve those milestones, one by one.

However, on their own, the ingredients of any recipe are not enough to guarantee success. A catalyst is needed to promote a skilful blending together of the ingredients in the right proportions at the right time with the right level of care and attention.

The life coach performs a critical role

When it comes to personal change or transformation, the life coach performs this critical role. He or she offers the professional motivation, direction, guidance and support to help bring about the very best result for the client.

If you feel a burning desire for change and, whether you already have something close to your heart that you want to achieve, or you are still trying to nail down exactly what that is, then my message today is a simple one:

Be sure to hire yourself a great life coach!

A selection of New Insights trained and certified life coaches can be found on our Directories:

In South Africa/Africa: https://www.life-coach-directory.co.za

In the UK/International (this directory is still new and under development): https://www.directory-of life-coaches.co.uk

Thank you!

In closing, I’d like to offer my sincere thanks for being a loyal reader of this Blog.

It may just be that my posts have served to inspire you to think of becoming a life coach yourself, if you are not already one. If that is the case please do visit our main websites where you can find out more about our accredited, world class training programme and how to enrol whenever it suits you. You’ll find the links below.

I wish you and your loved ones a very happy Christmas and/or happy holidays. May 2022 be the year that you achieve everything you set out to!