A Letter of Thanks

The power of living with gratitude is something stressed by most, if not all of the world’s top self-development professionals.

They say it plays a vital role in the development of an abundance mentality, or a mindset that allows and encourages the flow of positive vibrations and energy that ultimately helps one to attract and manifest a richer and more rewarding life.

But those who have fallen on hard times or been beset with tough life challenges may be forgiven for holding a degree of scepticism about what these mostly very successful and wealthy gurus have to say.

“It’s alright for them,” you can hear these types mutter, “Practising gratitude comes naturally when you have it all already.”

So do we have a classic chicken and egg conundrum here?

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A Thank You Letter (continued)

 

Is less more?

It never fails to amaze me how some people, who seemingly have so much to be grateful for, spend their lives complaining about just about everything.

On the other end of the scale, I am equally fascinated by how some other people, seemingly blessed with far less, can be so thankful for everything in their lives.

More than a feel good factor?

The ability to practice gratitude is clearly not correlated with what you have, so much as who you are and how you think. But can the practising of gratitude really change your fortunes, or does it merely add a feel good factor … or are these one and the same thing?

The New Science of Gratitude

In researching the effect of gratitude I came across a fascinating book called The New Science of Gratitude by psychologist Robert Emmons, Ph.D.  who some have described rather grandly as the world’s leading authority on gratitude 🙂

Emmons’s own research showed that the regular practising of gratitude could increase one’s level of happiness by as much as 25%, while keeping a gratitude journal for as little as three weeks could result in better sleep and higher levels of enthusiasm, optimism and general energy.

And that’s not all.

Practising gratitude was found to benefit people in other ways such as strengthening their immune systems, making them less susceptible to stress and improving their social relationships.

So it seems that what we are being told about gratitude by the top self help specialists is backed up by scientific research and is worth sitting up and taking note of!

Coaching and practising gratitude

At New Insights we have been promoting the idea of practising gratitude in our coaching system ever since it was developed some thirteen years ago.

This involves being thankful, not only for the wonderful things that you have experienced in life (both big and small) but also for those events and experiences that may have felt difficult, challenging or even traumatic at the time you experienced them.

At New Insights, as you will know if you are a loyal reader of this Blog, we believe that people create their own realities, if not consciously then subconsciously. We attract into our lives all sorts of experiences that, deep down, we believe we need in order to help us to grow and develop as humans.

Occasionally those experiences may seem unpleasant or even downright horrible … but they have a role to play and, once the pain, hurt or discomfort has subsided, we can reflect on them, why we attracted them and how/what they have contributed to our life. Then, instead of remaining stuck in negative emotions such as resentment, anger, fear, despondency or vengefulness, we can practice gratitude!

Liberating and therapeutic

Offering thanks for events that have been painful and yet shaped our lives for the better, although difficult to contemplate and do at first, is incredibly liberating and therapeutic.

The Letter of Thanks

One of the exercises that we recommend in coaching is the Letter of Thanks, in which coachees (that’s the industry term for people being coached) are asked to choose three difficult, challenging and painful events or experiences in their lives, and then to write a thank you letter to the main people involved in each event.

The rationale is as follows:

When you can be thankful for the way things turn out after what you perceive to be a ‘negative’ situation; when you can see that the event was actually perfect just the way it was because of the purpose it served in your life – then you have transcended that event and neither it, nor the other people involved, can continue to run, or adversely influence, your life.

It’s called ‘taking back control’!

A real life example

One of the real life examples I love to mention in our training is that of an American lady named Sasha Xarrian. (By the way, she wrote a wonderful guide to using the Law of Attraction that she calls Outrageous Mastery – an Xperiment with Power).

To cut a very long story short, Sasha grew up in the Mormon Church where she was taught to be loving and devoted to her husband, no matter the treatment she received from him. After an extended period during which she was exposed to serious abuse from her husband she left him and, as a result, she was expelled from the church with absolutely nothing to her name.

Later, thanks to her determination, commitment and ability to harness the Law of Attraction, she was to become a very happy and wealthy woman, highly regarded as a self-development expert.

Sasha revisited her difficult past and wrote a moving letter of thanks to her husband for having taught her the need to become self sufficient, stand on her own two feet and learn to trust her own ability.  Today she is able to look back on those ‘negative events’ of the past with gratitude for how they helped shape her to become who she is today!

An invitation to you

In closing I’d like to invite you to consider writing (and delivering) your own Letter of Thanks, whether it be for what you have up to now considered a negative event or quite the opposite.

I\’m willing to bet that the effect it will have on you will be nothing short of profoundly positive!

 

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