The Power of Flexibility

“Adopt an attitude of flexibility. If there’s one emotion to cultivate to guarantee success, it’s the ability to change your approach.”

– Tony Robbins

Key for anyone who wants the most out of life

The power of flexibility is something we punt strongly in our life coach training programme. As you might imagine, life coaches generally work with a broad variety of different people and they need to be able to adapt accordingly as clients all have different backgrounds, needs, attitudes, values and beliefs.

But its not just life coaches who can benefit from being flexible in their mindset and approach. Flexibility and adaptability are attributes that are key for anyone who wants to get the most out of life.

What is meant by flexibility?

The terms flexibility and adaptability mean quite similar things.

Flexibility is usually used in the context of short term – and adaptability in the context of longer term – change. Nevertheless, the ability to adapt to longer term changes requires a certain flexibility of mindset and approach, hence my preferred focus on this term.

Before I continue let me just make it clear that when I talk about ‘flexibility’ I do not in any way mean to imply indecisiveness, flakiness or vacillation. One can be flexible and still take prompt and decisive action when required.

By flexibility I mean being open to different ways of interpreting situations or doing things; being able to modify your attitude and approach to meet the unique demands of certain people and/or situations.

A new dimension to life

A more open minded and flexible approach to life is rewarded through new, different and richer experiences that offer a new dimension to life. The more one experiments with different approaches in different situations, the more one becomes aware of what works best in which circumstances.

Tunnel view

In contrast, by adopting a rigid approach to people, life and the unique situations it throws up, we remain stuck, never progressing beyond a one dimensional ‘tunnel view’ of the world around us.

‘My way or the highway’ may occasionally get us what we want but it strips us of the joy that comes from experimenting with and adopting different perspectives.

Just imagine

Just imagine for one moment, growing up having been taught that it is both rude and unhygienic to ever go barefoot. By rigidly adopting this as your truth you might go through life never experiencing the joy of feeling lush green grass underfoot or powdery beach sand between your toes.

Fear of change

Lack of flexibility is often underpinned by a fear of change and, as a consequence, an overdeveloped need for the certainty that we associate with maintaining a rigid and predictable approach to life.

Sadly, though, the consequences are often the opposite of what is intended.

As Einstein once famously said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

A vicious cycle

An overly controlling and inflexible approach leads to problems building trusting and meaningful relationships with others. As relationships break down, and change looms as inevitable, fear begins to ramp up and the standard reaction is to try to assert even more ‘control’.

… It’s a classic vicious cycle!

A way out

For those who are entrapped in this cycle, there is a way out. You need to take the association between change and fear and turn it on its head.

When your attitude has been shaped and entrenched over many years this is difficult to do on your own. However, there are people who are experts at helping people appreciate how lack of change rather than change itself, is really what we should fear.

Guess what?

They’re called ‘life coaches’!