Life coaching can and should have a profound effect on enhancing one’s level of self-awareness.
One of the central principles of life coaching is the understanding that we have the power to – and must bear the responsibility for – creating our own reality, no matter the situation we are born into.
It follows, therefore, that any life coach training programme with substance and integrity will look to bring about a significant development in the trainee’s self-awareness. After all, it takes one self aware individual to help develop that characteristic in another!
So what exactly is self-awareness and why is it so important?
“Freedom comes from knowing that nothing and no-one ‘out there’ is responsible for what you experience or how you feel. What you attract into your reality – and how you choose to interpret it – is all an inside job.”
– Gill Edwards, ‘Wild Love’
Self-awareness defined
Wikipedia defines self-awareness as:
“The capacity for introspection and the ability to recognise oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals.”
This may seem like stating the obvious. After all, don’t we all have the capacity for introspection and don’t we all recognise ourselves as separate individuals?
Well, yes … but In life coaching, when we talk about self-awareness we are more interested in whether and how people use the capacity that they have.
Therefore, in the context of life coaching, at least, here’s how I would choose to define self-awareness:
“Understanding who you really are, what makes you ‘tick’, knowing what you value, what you believe in and why, knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are and having the ability to relate to other people as unique individuals, understanding how and why they perceive of you the way they do.”
Self-awareness and relationships
When you understand yourself, who you are and what you represent, it becomes much easier to understand and appreciate others for who they are and what they represent. Put another way, you cannot expect to step into the shoes of others unless you first feel comfortable wearing your own!
So the benefits of developing your self-awareness extend far beyond the relationship you enjoy with yourself, giving you the tools to bring about a dramatic improvement in the way you interact with and relate to others.
Self-awareness and the inner being connection
As self-awareness develops, so does one’s ability to reconnect with one’s true essence, or inner being – the source of intuition.
Depending on who you are and what you prefer to believe, you may consider your inner being as your connection to – or the source of your relationship with – God, your Creator, a Higher Power, Source or the Universe.
Children tend to be far more in touch with their inner beings than most adults. This is because they have not yet succumbed to the conditioning of society – or the external world – that tells us what is acceptable, how we should behave, what we should look like, how we should interact with others, what we should believe, what success means, and so on.
Self awareness and the ability to live consciously
Self-awareness and a strongly developed connection to one’s inner being are core enablers of one’s ability to live ‘consciously’.
Bear with me while I explain …
Have you noticed how some people are constantly in reactive mode – a bit like the balls in a pinball machine? Life tosses them around. Believing it’s beyond their ability to control, they survive the only way they know how, by attempting to ‘roll with the punches’.
This is what we life coaches call living ‘unconsciously’. When you are living unconsciously you are ‘coping’ – just trying to make do while life carries on regardless around you. You have no real control. You feel disconnected … from yourself and from your source.
By contrast, living consciously entails taking full responsibility for your life. When you live consciously you are fully aware that you are free to make choices and that the choices you make create your reality.
You understand that, in the long term, you have no real control over what others do, how they live their lives and what they think and say about you. The only true control you have is over your own life and how you choose to live it. By recognising and acknowledging this important responsibility you gain personal freedom.
With self-awareness comes an appreciation for the fact that every person is unique, free to make his or her own choices and create his or her own reality.
Expressing your self-awareness
Living life consciously is a means of expressing your self-awareness in a way that brings about a better quality of life, centred on love, joy and peace.
Is your self awareness developed to the point where you can enjoy conscious living? Take a look at the table below and see which type of ‘talk’ you most relate to:
| ‘Unconscious living’ talk | ‘Conscious living’ talk |
|---|---|
| “Life is unfair.” | “Life is what you make of it.” |
| “Everything is out of balance.” | “You can find perfect balance in everything.” |
| “There’s nothing I can do.” | “I need to find a way.” |
| “Why did this happen to me?” | “How will this challenge help me grow?” |
| “She’s impossible to live with.” | “She’s on a very different life path.” |
| “It’s all his fault that we have no money.” | “We have no money but that’s down to choices I have made.” |
| “It’s easy for them to say, they’re lucky!” | “What they say must make sense as they seem to be getting it right.” |
| “There’s never any time for anything.” | “Time is precious so I have to choose my priorities carefully.” |
| “He shouted at me, so I just shouted back.” | “He shouted at me but I chose to keep my cool.” |
| “I have no education so I’ll never amount to anything.” | “My lack of education doesn’t define me or what I am capable of.” |
| “I feel so alone, unloved and unwanted.” | “When I am alone I turn to my inner voice/creator for love and comfort.” |
| “If only I had more …” | “I’m grateful for what I have.” |
| “I’m stuck in a rat race with no way out.” | “I deserve more than this and am going to take action to bring about some change.” |
| “I spend my whole life trying to make other people happy.” | “I focus on being happy and fulfilled so I can be most effective in contributing to others.” |
Thanks very much Bill. Ever inspiring. Any discounts on some courses for early bird registration?☺☺
Hi Pandora,
With New Insights you can register and enrol whenever it suits you. There is no specific registration date or period so there is no ‘early’ bird registration. 🙂
Hi Bill, thanks for this excellent blog. Rereading it has inspired me once again to encourage and inspire others to be their best you. Regards and enjoy your well deserved holiday break.
Thanks Henry – good to hear from you again 🙂
Thanks for sharing the information about self-awareness in details. Keep Sharing!
Sure thing Chris!
Thank you Bill for a wonderful blog , yet again. It is funny that nobody seems to have enough time, and yet it is one of the few resources that all of us, have all that there is.
Another thing about time is that all activities good or bad require time to happen, without time it never happened, so choose carefully how and with what you spend your time.
Thank you again for your great insight and ability to express that insight
Thanks Dirk. A good reflection!
Very well written Bill and so aptly linked to taking Responsibility and the ‘Freedom” that comes with it.
Thanks to my own Self-awareness significantly developed through my New Insights certification training, I now enjoy a life lived much more ‘consciously’.
As one of my new Spiritual Mentors puts it:
“People need to know that they have all the tools within themselves. Self-awareness, which means awareness of their body, awareness of their mental space, awareness of their relationships – not only with each other, but with life and the ecosystem.” —Deepak Chopra
And Mr Chopra should know!
Thanks Jan.
Thankyou Bill for a very encouraging and inspiring blog.
Thanks Frances!
Amazing blog article, Bill. Thank you
Thanks for commenting, Maria.
Self awareness became the turning point in so many areas of my life. Its power must never ever be underestimated! Wondeful article. Thank you.
You’re welcome Hermien!
Life is a choice, definitely. Some people get it, others don’t (the conscious and unconscious living). To be in the present, ie to be self aware, does make for a more in control life and therefore more likely to succeed in life.
Indeed! thanks for your comment Nina!
Thank you for another amazing and inspiring blog. It is wonderful to know that we can live a life of purpose by actively choosing to live out our highest values every moment of every day. Life coaching has such a positive effect and in my experience this effect just becomes more abundant and greater everyday. I wish it was compulsory for every body to have a life coach! Then we will live in heaven on earth!
I like your thinking Michelle!
Wow! What a thought provoking piece of writing, Bill. Thank you. It is the very foundation upon which change is built. What a privilege it is to do things differently and to walk along “The Road Less Travelled.” With a sharp self-awareness, a close observation of oneself and the skills with which to self-correct (which life coaching provides), we are empowered with the ability to self-correct, as my coach puts it. The byproduct of this process is a life of purpose, meaning and fulfilment.
Great comment – thanks Karen!
For me i have my identity in Jesus Christ, the author and giver of life.
🙂
I am a student in self-awareness. I used to beat myself up for failing to move or when I had taken a wrong turn. As I read, especial the New Insights Coaching training materials, they open me up to a world inside me that I did not know existed before… a world I love to live in. And my new Insights coach knows how to reach deep inside me and let me see the me I want to see.
Thanks to New Insights
Thanks for the thought provoking comment Nhlanhla 🙂
I can relate to the above. i recently made a decision that is purely for my own benefit..myself and my partner came to his brothers wedding in the USA, my partner only stayed for 10 days as he believed he had to rush back to work. i can respect that and accept that. But, based on my own self awareness i decided if i was to spend that much money to go some where i want to get the most out of the experience. So, decided to stay an extra 10 days to find inspiration for my own personal growth as well as my career choice AND professional life. I AM presently at a beautiful retreat in the mountains surrounded by nature, spiritual energy and lovely people…i am inspired and have fulfilled my intentions to learn, grow, look after my health, meditate and focus on peace in the present moment. Which means i go back a happier more satisfied person, a person more enjoyable for my partner to be around and i am motivated for work. I feel i can add more value to the lives of others based on what i am experiencing. So actually the decision of my self awareness is for everyone i knows benefit☺ i feel grateful and happy.
Doing what is right for you inevitably turns out best for the ones you love too because you become a better version of yourself!
The best description…..
Self awareness helped me to be aware of what I am saying and the impact it does to me. Instead of saying there’s never any time for anything. I’d rather say”time is limited so Have to choose my priorities carefully”. This is great Bill. If I did not prioritize carefully, I wouldn’t be where I am today with regard to my studies.
Well done Tembeka. I could suggest replacing the word ‘limited’ with ‘precious’. See how that makes you feel 🙂
Thanks Bill. I fully understand now the difference between limited and precious. That the time is precious it means I must utilise it fully and profitably and in such a way that I achieved my set goals through it. Limited is negative, I now agree.