The reality that we perceive to exist, depends on the perspective from which we choose to perceive that reality.
Let that sink in for a moment.
In short, actual reality, and our perception of reality, are different.
And because the ‘reality’ each person sees and feels is filtered through a unique set of individual values, beliefs, rules, attitudes and emotions, reality is perceived differently (even if only slightly in some cases) by everyone.
Taken to its logical conclusion, therefore, reality, as an absolute concept, does not exist. Or if it does, it is never experienced.
If your head is spinning a little at this point, you may be forgiven. For now, just take it from me that in all of this strangeness lies a very powerful realisation and a potential solution to many of our woes.
A story of two dogs
The parable ‘A Story of Two Dogs’ might be a good way to clear the mist a little.
Once upon a time an ancient king had a hall of mirrors built in his palace to entertain his guests.
One morning after a long night of celebration, after the banquet was over and all the guests had left, one of the king’s pet dogs wandered into this hall of mirrors and became disoriented, not knowing how to get out.
Seeing himself surrounded by a thousand other dogs, he growled, barked and snapped at them to try and warn them off. They, in turn, bared their fangs and snarled back at him. He found his every bark met by the echoing chorus of a thousand others.
The dog became more and more aggressive as he valiantly sought to defend himself from those thousand opponents. Eventually he became so out of control and reached such a heightened state of anxiety that he dropped dead from extreme exertion.
Some time passed before another of the king’s dogs found his way into the same hall of mirrors. This dog too, felt unsure of the way to go to get out.
After the initial surprise at seeing himself surrounded by a thousand dogs of his own kind, he began to feel excited and delighted to be amidst all the canine company and started to wag his tail with joyous anticipation.
In return, a thousand dogs wagged their tails back at him. Feeling happy and encouraged by all his newfound friends, he soon managed to find his way out of the hall.
Reality is simply the meaning we assign
What this quaint story teaches us is a concept that we make a big deal of in New Insights life coach training. The ‘reality’ of any situation, or should I say the perceived reality, is solely dependent on the meaning we assign to it.
The first dog chose to perceive of the curious situation it found itself in, in the hall of mirrors, as dangerous and threatening. As a consequence it attracted spiralling levels of fear and anxiety and the poor dog’s ultimate demise.
The second dog chose to perceive of this unusual, yet identical situation, as friendly and comforting and that promoted a more relaxed and confident nature to help him find his way out.
Choosing the meaning
We are all constantly confronted with challenges and situations, some of which we may initially experience as positive and some as more negative depending on the emotions that accompany such situations.
What makes the power of perspective so amazing is that we all possess the ability to choose the meaning that we attach to a situation or experience. In other words, we can, in retrospect, view it from the perspective of our choice.
Is ‘reality’ just an illusion?
Many sages teach that the world around us is nothing more than an illusion that resides wholly within the mind. There is an an ancient Hindu doctrine, the ‘drishti-srishti’ which claims that the world comes into existence as a consequence of thought
What might at first sound illogical – how can everything we see, feel and touch possibly be an illusion? – begins to make more sense when we appreciate that the reality we perceive of, and adopt, is simply a manifestation of our own choosing.
Redefining an event
At the risk of losing your interest, I invite you to think back to a situation, event or experience in your past that you currently perceive of in a very negative light.
I don’t for one moment want you to feel that I am asking you to diminish or belittle this defining moment in your life. However, I would ask you to think deeply about how you might assign it a more favourable meaning than you do now?
Opportunity focused reality
Changing one’s perspective of a particular ‘reality’, can help render a different, more likeable and more opportunity focused ‘reality’.
Let’s take an example:
You could look back at a ‘messy’ and confrontational divorce and perceive it as being a terrible event that served only to strip you of your dignity, your money and your future happiness.
Or you can look back at the same event and choose to assign a different meaning, or perspective, such as that it was necessary to help you value your independence and build your self belief to prepare you for a wonderful new future partnership opportunity.
A simple change of perspective can mean the difference between a life in which you embrace regret and remain mired in thinking about what could have been, and a life in which you harness learnings to create exciting new opportunities.
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The message is so powerful. You always leave me thinking for days. Thank you so much Bill.
In a positive sense, I hope 🙂 Thanks Maru!
Thank you Bill, so true, so powerful and also so incredibly sad that we have this power and ability yet often choose not to use it. Thank you for reminding me that I can choose ‘LIFE’ not death…the power is available to ME.
Yes Irene. You have the POWER!
Thank you Bill, so true, so powerful and also so incredibly sad that we have this power and ability yet often choose not to use it. Thank you for reminding me that I can choose ‘LIFE’ not death…the power is available to ME.
Thanks Bill. Great perspective to our perception of reality
Many thanks Tobo
This is so true. Thankyou
Good to hear from you. Thanks Chris!
A profound message. Thank you, Bill. The benefit of examining our potential responses by stepping back or pausing, is irrefutable. By closely examining our current perspective and considering other options, we open the door to making wiser decisions, thereby enhancing our well-being.
Thanks for your comment Karen!