The Law of Attraction was at it again yesterday …
I spent Saturday night at a reunion with people from my era who had grown up and been schooled in the Helderberg basin.
What fun it was to reconnect with friends and colleagues after so many years. It was a truly happy event and as I reflected on the evening yesterday, I made up my mind to write about happiness this week.
Yesterday morning, as I drove into town, I thought about the various perspectives from which one could write about happiness. I diverted briefly to pick up a takeaway coffee and, on a whim, added a newspaper to my purchase. I had to smile …
… A quick glance inside revealed a supplement called \’Life\’ with a feature article titled \’12 Secrets of being happy\’.
\”Someone else has done my work for me,\” I thought, happily!
[box type=\”shadow\”]\”When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes:
To love more, And be happy.\”
– Hafiz of Persia[/box]
The World Book of Happiness
It turns out the article profiled an extract from a new book called The World Book of Happiness, written by Leo Bormans.
In his book, Bormans gathers research and findings from many of the world\’s leading experts on happiness.
At first I chuckled at the idea that there could be experts on a subject like happiness and I started to imagine what it might be like to have the job of a happiness expert. Then it dawned on me that – in an ideal world – that\’s exactly what a good life coach should aim to be!
Anyway, according to the newspaper article the book claims there is substantial evidence that the following 12 factors determine your degree of happiness:
Accept what you have
Happy people appear to have more modest levels of expectation and are more content with – and less likely to complain about – what they have.
My take on this is not necessarily that happy people are less driven or motivated to achieve but that they are far more in touch with their goals because of their ability to visualize and set \’stepping stones\’ or clear \’pathways\’ towards the achievement of their goals. Things seem more realistic and achievable to them.
Enjoy what you do
No brainer, you may think! But how many of us misguidedly believe that happiness will be the outcome of years of sacrifice, putting up with a job or people you don\’t like because the money is good?
I think this factor is is intimately connected with the next one …
Live for today
Happy people live for the present day, realising that if they can\’t be happy today it is unlikely that they will be happy tomorrow.
In my opinion a huge barrier to happiness for many is a predisposal towards worrying unnecessarily about what has happened (and therefore can\’t be changed) or about what could happen (but hasn\’t).
Choose happiness
Happiness is, after all, a lifestyle choice! Some people have become so used to being unhappy that they have forgotten that being happy is merely a state of mind or state of being over which they have complete control.
Nurture your relationships
It would be impossible to be happy in a world in which you were isolated or totally alone. Happiness is something that is fed by positive relationships with others. And it\’s a give and take because we are all \”others\” to someone else.
Stay busy
Happy people tend to stay active and have rich social lives that are rewarding, meaningful and fun.
In my opinion it is true that variety is the spice of life. Without a certain amount of change and new experiences, life becomes monotonous, dull and boring. On the other hand, too much change can be stressful and overwhelming.
Find the balance that\’s right for you, but err on the side of being more active than less.
Avoid comparison with others
Ambition is healthy. Envy is unhealthy. Comparison with others should be avoided unless it is done with the aim of learning something useful.
Be who you are
Happy people don\’t worry unnecessarily about what others think or say about them. They are spontaneous and more natural and enjoy the personal freedom that comes from being true to what they expect of themselves rather than what they believe others expect of them.
Stop worrying
This might seem obvious and – to the worriers out there – easy to say but not so easy to do. But worry is a destructive waste of time and energy that could otherwise be channelled into constructive actions that could bring about a state of happiness.
Learn not to take life – or yourself – too seriously!
Get organized
Happy people generally know and understand their purpose in life and set goals around that purpose. They are organized without being slaves to organization.
Think positively
An optimistic outlook is a great self defence mechanism against depression. Learn to foster a \’glass-half-full\’ outlook rather than a \’glass-half-empty\’ one.
Value happiness
Really happy people understand that being happy adds years to their lives through adding life to their years. They go out of their way to find purpose and meaning in what they do, knowing that happiness is the outcome.
I think it is in a module, if it is to be it is up to me. Thanks
Great blog Bill, thanks. I do believe we can choose happiness. The more I choose it , the more I feel it, can tap into it and the easier it gets to stay in that feeling of happiness and gratitude for what is..
My love list is important- i get to know and add to that list all the time. As my list grows and grows, I am grateful and happy. Doing more of what i love = happiness. Every time i …… , I am happy! It becomes my successful habit.
The Universe is on my side every time- I am delighted,excited and happy to be here 🙂
happy holiday tomorrow Bill 🙂
That’s a real “happy” comment.
Beautiful … thanks Renee!
I encourage all of my clients to pursue JOY rather than happiness. The word ‘happiness’ means so many different things to different people, but JOY is doing the things that make your heart sing.
Perhaps we should coin a new term: “happyjoy”!
Thanks Patricia.
No more needs to be said! May I mention and I think at some time I did mention it; I believe there is only 2 choices in life in every situation. You either want to or don’t want to … Simple answers if you do have the guts to choose and pursue your choice. Since I realised this, I do try to live out my belief. It makes my life easier. Less options, less indecisiveness, but then I must also add that to do the right thing isn’t always easy!
Good stuff, Bill! As a NI Master Coach from years ago, I know all about the pursuit of happiness – generally I am that happy person, sometimes helping others to that state is not so easy!! However, it really is so simple – great words!!!!
Thanks Annie 🙂
Nice one Bill. This is one of the things I strive for most in my life. To be happy in what ever I do. It is not that easy tho, but working at it and keeping positive, I believe I expirience happiness most days. My aim is to be happy everyday. Now that will be absolutly amazing.
Thanks for the post on happinness.
Good for you Jack!
Nice blog Bill. Happy Birthday for the other day.
The term pursuit of happiness in my mind implies a future event.
Goal setting, visualisation and stepping stones are excellent ways of achieving growth in life. Happiness in my experience is acceptance of what is. It is what it is implies lack of control. When I try control or judge the results of my actions, the results become more important than the actions themselves. Want what you have not have what you want doesn’t mean that you are stuck or are lacking ambition. In my life it simply means that I ACCEPT the present as it is-acceptance of what is-happiness
Thanks Mike (but my birthday is only in August!) 🙂