The Happiness Factors

Everyone is different of course – I’m definitely not a great one for putting people into boxes – but there are, I believe, a few common and critically important factors, that we can control, that play a major role in determining the level of happiness we experience.

Many years of experience in the life coaching industry, coupled with my own research and observations, have led me to the conclusion that there are five key factors, or actions we can take, to maximise our potential for happiness and wellbeing:

Defining one’s role in the ‘play’

Let’s face it, life is an enduring mystery.

No one can claim to know, with absolute certainty, where we come from, why we are here and where we are going as a species. The more that scientists develop technology that allows them to peer further into the vastness of the universe, the more they awaken to how fascinating, incredible and mysterious it is.

Take a little time out of your day-to-day life to contemplate this and, like me, you may start to appreciate that we are all ‘actors’ on this giant ‘stage’ called life. Each of us has  the choice – to hide backstage and watch as the play unfolds, or to define a clear role for ourselves and partake in the action.

By defining a personal role, no matter how infinitesimally small it may seem in the grander scheme of things, we inject purpose and meaning into our lives. And that brings satisfaction and the potential for fulfilment and great happiness.

When you next lie awake at night agonising about the meaning of life, try surrendering yourself to the enduring mystery of the ‘play’ we find ourselves in, happy in the realisation that you can choose to play any part you like.

When you’ve chosen your part, play that role with everything you have!

Connecting with nature

Like everything else in this wondrous universe, each of us is a product of an amazing creation.

We work best when we are in harmony with the other products of creation, or, on this earth, what we call nature. After all, we have evolved over many hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of years to become perfectly adapted to the beautiful blue planet that we call home.

Human proliferation, greed and materialism has had a devastating effect on the natural resources of our planet. But we are slowly beginning to open our eyes to the immense value of what we are destroying and starting to appreciate just what it can do for us.

Spending time connecting with nature is good for the soul and essential for our wellbeing and happiness. It revives our spirits and deepens our connection with our inner beings and source.

In the technological era where many of us spend long hours married to our devices,  staring into computer screens and engulfed by invisible man made emissions, we simply have to find time to get out, live, breathe clean air and regenerate the magical bond we have with mother nature.

Looking after one’s health

No actor on the global stage can perform optimally when his or her physical health is compromised. Fundamental to our ability to feel happiness is our physical wellbeing.

Contemporary medicine is preoccupied with fixing problems and we have a vast array of drugs available to us nowadays to deal with the symptoms of ill health and the side affects of the drugs taken to combat the symptoms!

Sadly, far too little emphasis is placed on preventative measures that can stop illness and disease before it starts.

Our bodies are incredible, finely tuned machines and highly effective at adapting to occasional threats to our health. Problems arise when the threat is ongoing, chronic or overwhelming for our systems.

In today’s world, this is common thanks to consistently poor diet, long term lack of exercise, exposure to chemical toxins and, increasingly, 24×7 exposure to harmful electromagnetic radiation.

(By the way, if you can’t wait for the roll out of superfast 5G, do yourself a favour and read about the potential danger of this new technology and how this has been glossed over by governments and the telecommunications industry, who love to trot out the terms ‘fake news’ and ‘conspiracy theory’ when challenged.)

The wonderful thing is that our bodies signal to us when our health is compromised. And those signals grow louder the more we ignore them … until they are silenced by symptom alleviating drugs or by a physical breakdown of some form.

If we want to lead happier lives we need to live healthier lives. That means being more careful about what we put in to our bodies and what we expose ourselves to (including  that which we cannot detect with our five senses).

Self love

Ask people what they think is most important to their happiness and many will answer ‘loving and being loved’.

Love is unquestionably important to our wellbeing but I would argue that, when it comes to feeling happy, self love is the most important form of love.

You can be a wonderfully loving person, or you can be the beneficiary of a wonderfully loving relationship but if you do not have love for yourself, then long term happiness will evade you.

This is why loneliness has such a negative effect. Many people derive great meaning and satisfaction from being loved, or being loving, but when they are deprived of their connection to the lovers or the loved they wither and shrivel.

Self love (not selfish love) is vital for the times we find ourselves alone or facing unique personal challenges that others cannot help us with.

By constantly feeling (and expressing through self-talk) gratitude for who and what we are, we learn to connect with and tap into the amazing inner power that each of us has … and that releases feelings of comfort, joy and happiness.

Letting go

Wise men and women know that one of the greatest secrets to living a happy life lies in having the ability to let go when necessary.

Very simply, this means knowing when to ‘go with the flow’ or ‘dance in the moment’; having the lightness of being to deal with whatever comes up, without letting it get you down.

Life can be very intense, very challenging, very demanding, very serious … if we allow it to be.

On the other hand, we have the capacity to deal with even the most difficult of experiences in a way that is very manageable, simply by invoking humour and a willingness to accept that, whereas we can control how we act out our own roles in this play called life, we cannot control the other actors or, indeed, the director!

We need to lighten up, see the funny side of life and realise that nothing is as important as we think it is. All it takes is to shift our focus away from the day-to-day and consider the broader context of this amazing, unpredictable and very mysterious play called life that we are privileged to be part of!