What’s holding you back?

Last night I had the privilege of speaking on teleconference with one of my Personal Mentoring Groups for life coach trainees. I asked the members: \”What\’s holding you back?\”

From their responses, I identified two key themes, difficulty prioritising their own stuff, and a lack of self confidence.

No surprises then!

In my experience these are amongst the most common obstacles preventing people from achieving what they are truly capable of achieving.

Let\’s have a look at these issues in more detail:

[box type=\”shadow\”]“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.”

― Dorothy M. Neddermeyer[/box]

1. Giving priority to you

We live in a world where demands on our time and energy are unrelenting.

In our attempts to meet the expectations put on us by our jobs, our kids, our families and other people, many of us feel forced to sacrifice quality time to ourselves.

We justify this self sacrifice by saying to ourselves that prioritising others, especially loved ones, is the unselfish, honourable thing to do.

But there is a tremendous price that we pay for neglecting our own needs and wants. By placing our priority elsewhere, other than on us, we literally abrogate responsibility for our own personal growth and development!

Perhaps this rings true for you?

Have you assigned that crucial responsibility to a third party such as your employer, spouse, friends, family, church, or even the government?

Time to take back control

If so, my message to you is this:

By giving priority to number one (that’s you) you will grant yourself the opportunity to become the very best person you can be. And only in that way will you be able to exert the most positive impact and influence on the world around you.

So learn to put yourself first, not in a selfish, arrogant way but in a way that allows you to TAKE BACK CONTROL of your life and let your authentic, radiant, capable being emerge from mediocrity to leave its stamp on the world.

 

2. Tapping in to your inner self confidence

Self confidence is your birthright.

Contrary to popular belief, self confidence is not a characteristic that anyone should need to develop. It is something inherent within all of us.

Unfortunately our naturally inbred self confidence is easily eroded by the meaning we choose to attribute to the various experiences and events that we are exposed to throughout our lives.

Proof from the younger set

You only have to observe young children. They brim with self confidence, with powerful imaginations that allow them to believe that anything is possible …

… That is until they are told otherwise by well-meaning parents or callous peers!

Look within not without

Lack of self confidence is a symptom of the externally focused world we live in.

By that I mean that we tend to look to others, for confirmation of our worth, rather than to our authentic inner beings that know why we are here and what special talents we have brought with us.

Self confidence that has been eroded needs to be rebuilt. The way to do that is to stop outsourcing the responsibility for determining whether you have it or not!

Believe in yourself and your own unique capabilities and talents. Stop relying on others to tell you whether you are any good or not.

Celebrate

Know that you’re good. Know that you are worthy. Practice self affirmation. Thank others for their comments and stay humble but always remember that is how you feel about yourself – and not how they feel about you – that ultimately counts.

Celebrate your own magnificence!