Whose life is it anyway?

To what extent do you allow others to dictate how you live your life, either expressly through their influence and/or manipulation, or perhaps through more subtle means including your own thoughts and perceptions?

Maybe it\’s time to question just whose life it is you are leading?

[box type=\”shadow\”]“How would your life be different if … You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day … You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others”

– Steve Maraboli
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Special gifts

In a recent post titled \”It\’s your choice\” I expressed my view that we all commenced our existence on Earth bequeathed with a few very, very special gifts.

There is the very tangible gift of an exquisite planet, teeming with life in every form imaginable, staggering beauty and boundless variety.

Then there are the twin gifts of an open mind and a free will, designed to allow us to explore and experience life and our environment to the fullest.

Finally, our DNA has been programmed with another important gift – a very powerful will to survive – helping to extend our experience for as long as we remain physically fit and healthy.

No faulting the design

There can be no faulting the design. We have been given every basic ingredient needed to map out a life which should bring us great joy, wonder and fulfillment.

And yet, a great many of us fail to experience life to the full, holding back from experimenting with new things, exploring new places and generally doing what makes us happy.

Why is this?

The problem is in our implementation

As human beings confronting this issue, we need to look ourselves squarely in the face. The reason for the failure has to do, not with the design, but with our implementation.

A simple yet fundamental rule

I believe there is one very simple yet fundamental rule that needs to be universally observed in order that our lives may live up to the intention of the grand designer.

\”Do whatever you desire to experience life to the full and be happy … just as long as it does not take away from another\’s ability to do the same.\”

Taking responsibility

This rule implies that we need to take full responsibility for our own lives. At the same time, although we carry no responsibility for the lives of others, we have an important obligation not to interfere negatively in their ability to live their lives the way they choose to.

Corruption, manipulation, violence and coercion are all tools of those who mistakenly believe that the way to a better life is through disempowering others.

On the other hand – and this is important to note – blame and justification are the tools of those who believe the way to a better life lies in disempowering themselves while hoping for some form of external intervention to resolve their plight.

Full and sole responsibility

I\’ve been building up to an important point.

If you want to lead a happy, fulfilled and joyous life – as I believe is your birthright – then you need to have the courage to take full and sole responsibility for it.

After all, whose life is it anyway?

So what does it mean to take full and sole responsibility?

It means taking the actions that you want and need to take, not those that you feel you should take.

It means doing what you think is right for you, not what you believe others think is right for you.

it means living the way you want to live, not the way you think others expect you to.

It means accepting that whatever arrives in your life arrives as a result of your thoughts and actions.

But it also means doing all of this without undermining the ability of others to exercise responsibility for their own lives.

Simple, not easy … yet the only way to true, lasting happiness.