In Part 1 of this topic, I wrote about the importance of having the courage to bring about change in your life.
Change is endemic to life.
You can choose to embrace it and make it happen for you, or you can try to ignore it and allow it to happen to you.
A breath of fresh air
This is a time of the year when most of us get that rare opportunity to escape our day-to-day routines and enjoy a metaphorical breath of fresh air.
As we breathe in that fresh, oxygenated, holiday atmosphere, our thoughts turn to making substantive changes and ensuring that the new year is a big improvement on the old.
The first stage
The discontent with the status quo that we feel, on self reflection, is the catalyst for all personal change and the first stage in what we, at New Insights life coaching, refer to as the Change Cycle.
The fun part
It is quickly followed by a period of contemplation, during which we consider the various actions that we might take to bring about the needed change This is the fun part of the Change Cycle and typically the source of what has become known as the ‘New Year’s resolution’!
It’s fun because it is high on ideas and opportunities. Creative thinking happens best at a time when we are freed up from the day-to-day, our stress levels are lower, and we feel more relaxed and at ease.
More difficult stages
The next two stages are more difficult because they involve translating our creative thoughts and ideas into firm action, which then needs to be maintained until the change is successfully brought to bear.
It is during these stages that the typical New Year’s resolution fails the true test of change. Resolutions are generally high on hype and emotion but low on structure, specifics, and measurability.
New Insights certified life coaches are specially trained to help their clients construct powerfully effective goals. Unlike mere resolutions, these goals have all the characteristics required to retain the motivation and inspiration required to ensure they are achieved.
Beware the relapse
Nonetheless, even the most specific, measurable and inspiring goals require commitment and sustained action to ensure they are achieved.
This usually requires a fundamental shift in thinking and a change in entrenched behaviours. Given that we are human beings and naturally change averse, as I explained in Part 1, we are easily susceptible to relapse.
So the fifth stage in the Change Cycle is regression or relapse.
Most of those who embark on bringing about substantive change, and who get to the point of taking sustained action (a noteworthy achievement in itself) will, at some point, be effected by this stage.
Demoralising for those who are not prepared
For those who are not prepared for relapse, and don’t know how to deal with it, the effects can be demoralising and possibly even quite devastating.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “The night is darkest just before dawn.”
This explains why we often enter the regression stage just shortly before manifesting the change we so desire.
Return of the worst fears
As the reality of the impending change hits home with the ego, it resorts to using every weapon at its disposal to try and derail our progress and return to the ‘safe haven’ that is the pre-change status quo.
Our worst fears may suddenly return to haunt us. We may become confused, and our old foe, procrastination, may dominate our behaviours as we grapple with the situation.
So, how should we deal with this?
Letting the change genie out of the bottle
As life coaches, we help our clients to appreciate that change is far from linear in nature. By getting to the stage of maintaining action, one has, in effect ‘let the change genie out of the bottle’.
In other words, no matter how serious the relapse that you experience, you will never return to the pre-change state. A permanent change has taken place at the foundational level and this can easily be built upon again once you are ready to do so.
Life coaching and relapse
Life coaches help their clients to expect some form of temporary relapse when bringing about major change. They equip their clients with the tools to overcome regression and move beyond it into the final stage in the Change Cycle – the manifestation of the desired change!
Some advice on making change
Perhaps you are contemplating making a much needed major change in your life, either now or in the near-term future?
If so, I would like to offer some simple yet tried and tested advice.
1. Hire a quality life coach. Good life coaches are experts in helping people to manage and bring about change for the better. To get started click on the ‘Hire a Life Coach’ link in the menu bar of this website.
2. Forget about setting flimsy New Year’s resolutions. They don’t work. Instead, get your coach to help you set a substantive goal that meets all the criteria that will ensure you have the best chance of achieving it.
3. Commit to becoming an ‘action junkie’. Take regular, small, inspired actions that move you in the direction of your goal. This is far more effective and sustainable than relying on having to take a few scarily big actions. Your life coach can help you develop a realistic, effective action plan.
4. Expect to hit a period of regression in some form. It’s quite normal. It’s your ego fighting to avoid the unknown as it confronts the fact that the change is close to occurring. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens to the best of us.
5. Reflect on just how close you are to achieving your amazing goal. You’ve created a strong platform for change. Now, dust yourself off, pat yourself on the back for having had the courage to get to this point. Get back on track and make this change happen. You truly deserve it! ☺
Whoa I’m inspired… thank you so much!!
Thanks Norman!